We Will All Sin Together When We Sin
by Robert Wynne and Martin DeMello
Music: “We Will All Go Together When We Go” by Tom Lehrer
© 2002

If you believe religious men
You ought to burn your bridges when
The company you keep would have you go astray
And you may have found it painful
When they looked at you disdainfully
And told you that you had to live their way
(But never matter)

When your friends all start to scurry
All those pious sounds of worry
Shall never give us reason to despair
For though they’re bound to make a fuss
When they throw the book at us
We’ll be having too much fun to really care

And we will all sin together when we sin
All the trouble that we can we will get in
No need to ask us twice sir
Because nothing could be nicer
We will all sin together when we sin

We will all fall together when we fall
We shall have ourselves an unrepentant ball
Heading straight towards damnation
At the slightest provocation
Yes we all will fall together when we fall

Oh, we will all lapse together when we lapse
We will round up all the lasses and the chaps
When it’s time to start transgressing
We find company a blessing
And we’ll party right until we all collapse!

Down by the old mill stream
We can cavort in pairs or teams….

And we will all moan together when we moan
And ensure that our intentions are well known
Enough talk about the weather
Let’s go roll out in the heather
There are subjects that are best not left alone

We will all snug together when we snug
On the bed and on the couch and on the rug
Give into our desire
And then stoke that inner fire
And end up looking really rather smug

We will all come together when we come
To the sound of heartbeats pounding like a drum
With a cry of ecstacy, we
Will all squeal with joyful glee
And the delight that everybody’s getting some!

And we will all sign our names for our respective Gehennas
For we know that’s where we’re heading with no time for I knew you whennas

Yes we will all sin together when we sin
Just prop the door and let the neighbours in
There’s no one who’s not a friend here
So just pick yourself an end dear
And we all will win together
When we all sin together
Yes we all will sin together when we sin
 

This one is all Teri Wachowiak’s fault. A large number of us were all hanging out on #filkhaven in order to avoid other tasks we should have been doing, and Teri said “Well, at least we can all sin together”, and boom, we were off to the races. Martin and I traded off verses then culled and rewrote until we had the finished product.

At least one person complained that the only sin the song seems to cover is lust. Well, what can I say. I like lust. <shrug>