Rockin’ Argo
by Robert Wynne
Music: “Rockin’ Robin” (Bobby Day (by way of Tom Smith))
© 2002

When we pulled into Argo for some R and R
We set out to investigate each joint and bar
We thought we’d enjoy their hospitality
But found it wasnt geared for spacers such as we

Banned from Argo
Banned from Argo
Oh, Banned from Argo, they don’t want us at that port anymore…

(Bridge) Our brave captain’s dating methods were complex
Each partner was of a different world and sex
When the shore police came, we took our chance
Beamed him back aboard but we lost his pants

Our chief engineer was a champion sot
He outdrank the whole bar and that’s a lot
Our navigator finished up in second place
And parked his shuttle in the strangest place

Banned from Argo
Banned from Argo
Oh, Banned from Argo, they don’t want us at that port anymore…

(Bridge)
Our first officer was drugged by something green
And taught the bridge computer how to be obscene
The nurse went shopping in the potion mart
And came home naked with a cheerful heart

The doctor caused a riot and he went to jail
But we got him back aboard without a cent of bail
Our helmsmen went ashore with some odd plant life
And got tangled up with the gov’ners wife

Banned from Argo
Banned from Argo
Oh, Banned from Argo, they don’t want us at that port anymore…

(Bridge)
Oh a group of pirates came to do the town
but nobody noticed that they were around
When they came into the bar where we were that night
They took one look and ran away in fright

Our crew works hard and we’re Starfleets best
But we tend to leave a trail when we stop to rest
We’re sorry for the damage we did, you can bet
But now at least we’re sure that they won’t forget!

Banned from Argo
Banned from Argo
Oh, Banned from Argo, they don’t want us at that port anymore…

 

Normal filkers just write parodies to the tune of “Banned From Argo” Not me. I have to rewrite Argo to some other tune. This one was inspired by a challenge in rec.music.filk. Honestly, I think I did it better the first time