Mr Tumnus: [as Aslan is about to swat a fly] Mr. Secretary, Narnia abstains, courteously.
[Aslan raises a huge paw at Tumnus, then draws back]
Aslan: Mr. Tumnus, [pause, then roars] WHAT IN THE NAME OF TASH GOES ON IN NARNIA?
Mr. Tumnus: I’m sorry, my lord, but the simple fact is that our legislature has never sent us explicit instructions on anything!
Aslan: NEVER? [slams paw onto his desk] That’s impossible!
Mr Tumnus: My lord, have you ever been to Caer Paravel?
[Aslan shakes his head “No”]
Mr. Tumnus: There are four thrones there, to seat the two sons of Adam and two daughters of Eve who are to rule all of Narnia. But the four thrones have been empty for a very long time. With the result that nothing ever gets done. [turns to the Congress as he returns to his seat] I beg the Congress’s pardon.
Aslan: [grimly] My sympathies, Mr. Tumnus.
Now we just need to get
to write the 1776/Narnia musical.
Nitpick: Aslan wouldn’t say “What the hell.”
Fair enough. It’s been far too long since I read The Last Battle, so I don’t recall what, if anything, Tash’s realm was called, but I’ve edited it to be a bit more universe-specific. 🙂
Actually, what I had in mind was that Aslan, being the Christ of Narnia, wouldn’t swear. But I suppose holding him to that standard would kill the whole parody.
I love it.
/sends virtual chocolate as a reward.
(typo in 3rd line)
Please, sir, may I metaquote?
Gosh, by all means. 🙂
Better late than never: http://www.livejournal.com/community/metaquotes/4429508.html
I don’t think I’ve ever read the Narnia books, but I certainly remember the 1776 scene. I’m forwarding
this to Chosen One, who I suspect knows both universes and will get an even bigger kick out of it than I.
A tip of the old propeller beanie to you, sir!
, and that’s brilliant.
This is quite amusing! 🙂 We went to see the Narnia movie last week, and found it wonderful, and compared it to the last Peter Pan film, for that same quality of wonder.