Thirteen Ways of Looking At A Cicada
by Robert Wynne
Music: Various tunes (see note below)
© 2004

I.
If you like squishing cicadas
getting caught in the rain

II.
Oh cicadas, you’re breaking my heart
You’re all on my lawn and I hate you
Oh cicadas, please please go away
For seventeen years i won’t miss you

III.
I’m gonna kill the bugs next door
Ain’t gonna chirp anymore
They’re underground for seventeen years
Then they come up and drink all my beer
Gonna squash em with my boots
How i wish i had a gun that shoots
Gonna kill kill kill kill kill kill kill those bugs

IV.
Cicada blues
You make me cry
I don’t wanna lose this feeling
And if i choose for you to die
You would be in your grave

V.
You walk across the lawn and they will crawl up on your pants
Shake them off your shoes and you do a little dance
Worst of all you find their shells are stuck to all your plants
Hey, they’re cicadas!

VI.
I squashed cicadas
But i did not squish the ladybugs

VII.
Wasting away again here in Cicadaville
Searching for a safe path I can walk

VIII.
I walked out on my lawn
To face my fears
The last time they were here
Seventeen years
It’s cicadas
They climb on everything
Nowhere to sit
I wish they’d go away
I must admit
Damn cicadas

IX.
One day, bugs will rain out
From beneath the rainspout
And then you will hear ci-
cadas come and chirp the night away

X.
Cold rain on the front lawn has softened the grounds
For seventeen years they have slept in their mounds
But now they have surfaced; the night rings with sound
Cicada’s will rise with the moon

XI.
They are very noisy bugs
Cicadas chirp outside your bedroom
They go away for seventeen years then they come back
And they get in everything

Those bugs are pretty nasty
(That bug’s a Cicada!)
The kind of bugs you read about
(In science magazines!)
They haven’t left my lawn yet
(The bugs are cicadas)
I think I’m gonna squish them
(Everywhere I step)
They’re not right! They’re not right!
These bugs are not for me!

They are cicadas! Cicadas!
I hate Cicadas!

XII.
Little cicadas
Crawling everywhere
You’re pretty sure they’re even crawling in your hair
Where did they come from
Underneath the ground
Seventeen years past and not one could be found

XIII.
Guess who just got back today
Those little bugs that had been away
Everywhere, cicadas in your way
And if the bugs wanna chirp, you better let ’em

Cicadas were much in the news in 2004, because of the arrival of the once-every-seventeen-years emergence from hibernation cycle. The idea for this came from a conversation I was having in a chat room about the subject.

The thirteen tunes are, in order: (1) “Escape (The Pina Colada Song)” by Rupert Holmes, (2) “Cecilia” by Simon & Garfunkel, (3) “Gonna Kill The Dog Next Door” by The Arrogant Worms, (4) “Bell Bottom Blues” by Derek and the Dominos, (5) “Macarena” by Los del Rio, (6) “I Shot The Sherriff” by Bob Marley, (7) “Margaritaville” by Jimmy Buffett, (8) “And I Love Her” by the Beatles, (9) “Open Arms (Worlds Apart” by Journey, (10) “Giant” by Stan Rogers, (11) “Superfreak” by Rick James, (12) “Lady Madonna” by the Beatles, and (13) “The Boys are Back in Town” by Thin Lizzie.

The entire thing is a meta-parody of Wallace Stevens’s poem¬†“Thirteen Ways of Looking At A Blackbird”