Gwnewch y pethau bychain

Medieval Tofu Warfare

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8 Comments

  1. A mediaeval tofu discus? Don’t try making an arbalest out of tofu, it will get soggy and hard to light…

  2. Even given the limits of medieval technology, they had better weapons than tofu.

  3. Today’s Zits comic seems oddly apropos… doesn’t seem to be posted to the web, though.

  4. Tofu, properly prepared, can be a most deadly and awe-inspiring weapon, especially being as it’s cheaper and less dangerous to the wielder than improperly prepared fugu.

    Personally, I like to press my tofu over a period of weeks, then let it dry in the sun. After being pressed and dried, it can be stored for long periods in a cool dry cavern without fear of molding or rotting, and then can be put to quite a variety of antisocial and warlike uses. My favorite is soaking it in oil, then lighting it and flinging it over the battlements. Flaming tofu blocks can also be stuck on the ends of arrows and shot at the enemy, although due to the non-aerodynamic properties of tofu this is less effective than simply loading it into the cup of a catapult.

    • I dunno -- with it’s propensity to break up, it might be more target-efficient if you put it on the arrows.

      • Actually, it might be more a deterrent to your enemy if you simply fed it to them.

        Yech.

      • See, I don’t think it would hold together during flight very well. That’s why I’d put it in the catapult, so then you’d get this buckshot-like scatter of flaming tofu globules.

  5. Bot how about tofu chain mail?

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