Gwnewch y pethau bychain

Song: All For Me Swag

This isn’t a new new song, as it was actually written back in April and premiered at the Gafia housefilk that month. bedlamhouse and I wrote the entire thing over IM during a dull afternoon. It wasn’t posted at the time because we’d offered it to Lee Gold for Xenofilkia, and wanted to give it a chance to appear there first. Since it was in the June 2006 issue of Xeno, I now present here for you as well. 🙂

All For Me Swag
by Bill Sutton and Rob Wynne
Music: “All For Me Grog” (trad)

Chorus:
It’s all for me swag, me jolly, jolly swag
All for me hoard and me treasure
Well, I spent all my g.p. on a brand new sword +3
So its down into the caverns I must wander

Where are me boots? Me seven leaguer boots?
All for me hoard and me treasure
Well, they gave me a long stride and they split me underside
So its down into the caverns I must wander

Chorus

Where is me helm? Me magic, mystic helm?
All for me hoard and me treasure
It protected me from pain till the flayers ate my brain
So its down into the caverns I must wander

Chorus

Where is me mage? Me wimpy little mage?
All for me hoard and me treasure
To beat the troll she planned to use a spell called ‘Burning Hands’
So its down into the caverns I must wander

Chorus

Oh, where is me thief? My sneaky halfing thief?
All for me hoard and me treasure
Well he snuck off in the night with the loot from our last fight
So its down into the caverns I must wander

Chorus

Oh, where is me dwarf? Me sturdy fighting dwarf
All for me hoard and me treasure
Well, he took a fireball hit, and it blew him all to…….heck
So its down into the caverns I must wander

Chorus

I’m stabbed in the head, and I’d rather stay in bed
To finish healing from our last adventure
But I spent up all me dough, raising everyone I know
So its down into the caverns I must wander

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5 Comments

  1. SWAG

    You do realize that there is another use for the term?

    S tuff
    W e
    A ll
    G et

    is how it is used in the theatrical and trade show circles for the t-shirts and other junk that are give as gratis stuff to the stagehands and tradeshow carpenters -- most of it tacky and so cheap slave labor chinese goods would be an improvement.

    With that meaning in the back of my head, this song is a riot. Being broke because the cheap stuff you stole let you down, yeah, that’s about par for the course……

    Profitne

    • Re: SWAG

      *grin* I am familiar with the term — heck, the main reason I used to GO to trade shows is so I never had to buy ink pens and t-shirts. 🙂

      Glad you enjoyed the song. It was a fun one to write. 🙂

    • Swagging From A Head Stab

      Swag (used as a noun) has quite a few definitions in the dictionary. Booty / plunder is one of them, but it’s a ways down the list. The first few definitions listed referred to a decorative arrangement of greenery. And there are some uses for the word as a verb, its intransitive form being related to swagger, but with a more general meaning.

      Ann O.

  2. This is great! Just a suggestion:

    Well, he took a fireball hit, and it blew him all to…….heck

    I’m assuming the joke here is that they obvious rhyme is “sh*t.” Would you want to use “bits” instead, so it still rhymes?

    • Not a bad idea. I’d have to ponder whether the obviously bowdlerized profanity or the rhyme-you-didn’t-expect is funnier. 🙂

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