Iowa Not Like Dar Williams Song, Report Disappointed Lesbians
Three lesbians on a cross-country road trip were disappointed to find that the state of Iowa bore little resemblance to the Dar Williams song that they had belted as they crossed the border from Illinois.
“Where are the hills of Iowa that are supposed to make me wish I had a way with women?” demanded driver Rebecca Lally. “This place is total flatlands.”
Her passengers were also underwhelmed by the Hawkeye state. “I thought maybe once we got to Des Moines, we would start to see some sort of feminist folk song magic,” said Latonya Brewer. “Sadly, I was wrong. The indoor walkways were kind of cool, though.”
“Maybe we built it up too much in our heads,” said Lally, who reported that the friends had first begun fantasizing about Iowa after attending a Dar Williams concert at Wellesley College in the fall of 2001. “I mean, it was okay and everything, but I wouldn’t write a song about it.”
“I thought Iowa would help me find a way to say ‘I love you’ to Latonya,” confessed passenger Hillary Uxbridge. “I had it all planned out in my head. I would tell her, and then she’d say that she feared that to fall in love with me would be to fall from a great and gruesome height. And then we would make out.”
“But when we were in Cedar Rapids, Latonya went off with some chick she met at the motorcycle museum,” lamented Uxbridge. “I’d say that she was wandering out on the hills of Iowa and not thinking of me, except I still haven’t seen any hills. Things with me and Latonya are just the same as they were in Ohio. Screw it. I’m listening to Metallica for the rest of the trip.”
Concluded Lally, “Overall, Iowa’s been kind of a letdown. All I can say is, Nebraska better live up to the Springsteen song.”
joyeuse13
Man, what is the world coming to? Next thing you know, the wind in Oklahoma won’t come sweepin’ down the plains.
ericcoleman
There are hills in Iowa … they’re just hiding up in the NE corner …
spiritdance
That was my thought -- they were in the wrong part of Iowa! 🙂
celticdragonfly
Hills in Iowa depends on what part of the state you’re in.
I can’t speak for lesbians in the state, though. And I don’t know the song…
joyeuse13
Hills in Iowa depends on what part of the state you’re in. I can’t speak for lesbians in the state, though.
Perhaps they depend on what part of the state you’re in too? 😉
It’s a great song, it’s on Three Weird Sisters’ first album, “Rite the First Time.”
barbarakitten_t
i found lesbians and hills in the iowa city area…but that was long ago and far away
osewalrus
And ya know, I went to New York New York and it was NOT a wonderful town! I heard no lullabye on Broadway, and as for finding that tree growing in Brooklyn . . . .
I like the song and all, but c’mon! 🙂
Rob Wynne
Heh. Have you ever heard the Swinging Erudite’s parody of “New York, New York”? 🙂
dan_ad_nauseam
I hope none of them shot their old man back in Oregon.