Gwnewch y pethau bychain

Feh.

Though this may come as a surprise to those of you who have never lived with me or spent copious amounts of time around me, I’m a moody person. Quite often, I have extended bouts of melancholy which have no discernible cause, marked by low energy, mopiness, and being unfit company.

Today seems to be one of those days. Well, it really started last night, but I chalked it up to being tired from my recent day of not enough sleep. The total amount of sleep I got yesterday was alright, but it was broken up into 2 and 3 hour segments, so it never really felt like rest.

Today is more of the same. The real problem with these fits of depression is that they don’t seem to have any real cause. If I could come up with a reason for them, perhaps I could shake myself out of it. Instead, I berate myself for being down for no good reason, which only reinforces my mood.

And, in truth, I have no good reason to feel this way. My life is filled with love, I am surrounded by good friends, I’ve been in the most creative mood the last 3 months that I’ve been in for 2 years. So why are whispering voices scurrying around in my backbrain, insisting quietly that I’m a failure, and imposter, and that I don’t deserve all the happiness?

Sometimes, I wonder what the human brain is up to.

I know this will pass. It’s the same mood that has come and gone a thousand times, and it rarely lasts long, and it never really incapacitates me from doing important things, but…it doesn’t make today any easier.

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20 Comments

  1. Bummer. Hang in there. Hope the time goes as fast as it can.

  2. *sends you hugs*

  3. Hmmm..I guess you woudl have noticed, but maybe you are really a woman and have PMS?
    *gives you a piece of choclate*
    I know it doesn’t really help, but it tastes fine nonetheless!
    *hugs*
    Hope it will be over soon. And that voice in your head is plain wrong. But you know that, I think.

  4. *sigh* I’m the same way… Except when I’m moody I want to be alone and have people surrounding me all at the same time.

    *hugs*

  5. *hugs you close and kisses you gently* -H..

  6. *hugs* sympathy. I go through the same thing sometimes. Knowing it will pass really doesn’t make it easier.

    May tomorrow be worlds better.

  7. *hugs* I know this feeling well. Very well. As in, right-now well.

  8. *hug* I know the feeling. This is one of the reasons I’ve gotten hooked on the exercise thing -- it gives endorphins. Failing that, it gives me something to do to get my mind off being down.

  9. Everyone is allowed to have bad days, even you 🙂

    hugs

  10. *hugs* Wish I was there to give these to you in person…*snuggle*

  11. *hugs* Everyone gets those moods sometimes. But you do, in fact, deserve good things.

  12. sleep, moods, etc.

    “The total amount of sleep I got yesterday was alright, but it was broken up into 2 and 3 hour segments, so it never really felt like rest.”

    Wow, that sounds familiar *laugh.* Sounds like my baby snuck over to your house that night!

    Seriously, I’ve been in those moods and still have them on occasion. It’s not fun and you’ve got my sympathy and support . ..*hugs*

    Just an idea, no matter the weather, go outside and take a walk, or write what you’re feeling. Either of these tactics often shake me out of my mood, make me think, etc.

    Much love and hugs to you .

  13. Hug. It’s ok -- even when you are blessed sometimes you are allowed to feel like crap. As long as you know that “This too will pass” (a lovely song by Peter Himmelman btw). As dubious as I used to be about drugs I must say that I am now convinced that Zoloft has been a HUGE help for a couple of my dear ones who had a similar moodiness. Regulate them chemicals I guess. Anyway -- lots of love your way and some to who lives with you. Hugs

  14. You’re not alone. I’m like that too, on many days. I often wake up irritable and grumpy, and I’m like that until I have lunch. I can’t quite explain *why* I’m like that; I know I just am. And when I’m in those moods, I tend to be impatient with people, and often push them away.

    For me, there are at least two factors at work here: blood sugar and a chemical imbalance in my brain. They can be somewhat stablized with both food and medication. Not sure if it’s the same for you, but you may want to consider getting yourself checked over by a good doctor or two.

    *hugs*

  15. *hug* from Long Island.

  16. My sympathies on the downer mood. I hope that Kitanzi’s cheerfulness, and the *HUGS* from all your LJ-friends, and just plain *time*, will have you feeling better soon.

    I’ll second the recommendation for a clear-the-cobwebs walk, and hope there’s some lovely spring sunshine in your part of the world soon. And as others have mentioned, I usually find that chocolate helps. Or a “comfort book”, a favorite that I can read that I almost can’t help being cheered up by (such as just about any Spider Robinson “Callahan” story).

    *HUGS* from the Pacific Northwest.

  17. Snuggles from up here as well. Hang in there. I know days like that and they Really Do Suck…

  18. Sounds familiar indeed. *gentlehugs*
    and…
    *a smile extra for you, to hang somewhere within your sight*

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