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SONG: Lawyers, Guns and Honey

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On January 16, 2006

In Blog

No better way to get back into regular musical activity than to write a new song, right? Right!

Lawyers, Guns, and Honey
TTTO: “Lawyers, Guns, and Money” by Warren Zevon
by Rob Wynne and Jeffrey Williams
© 2006

Well, I went to talk to Piglet
Kanga, Owl, and Roo
I wish somebody’d told me
That Tigger’d be there, too

We went walkin’ to the mill pond
Saw Eeyore’d fallen in
Send lawyers, guns, and honey
Yeah, Tigger’s bounced again

Oh, I’m a bear of little brain
I’m full of cheer and pluck
Just halfway into Rabbit’s hole
And I found I was stuck
Yes, I found I was stuck
Well, I found I was stuck

Now I’m hanging from balloon strings
I’m a desperate bear
Send lawyers, guns, and honey
The bees have seen me there

Send lawyers guns and honey
Send lawyers guns and honey
Send lawyers guns and honey
Send lawyers guns and honey

Right now there’s dust on my guitar…

By

On January 12, 2006

In Blog

One of the negative side effects of my recent depression is that I’ve been unmotivated to really play music the way I do normally. I’ve not been writing regularly, not practicing, not learning new songs, and not playing when I’m in an environment where I have the opportunity Some people remarked sadly that they didn’t hear me play anything at OVFF or Gafilk (which I appreciated, by the way), and the main reasons for that were emotional distraction and lack of recent practice required to keep me in any kind of playing shape.

This is something i obviously want to change. Music feeds my soul, and my soul’s gotten a bit thin lately. So I’m determined to begin purposefully practicing again, in order to being participating again in social situations where I can play music, such as filkcons.

To that end, I have a query to those of you reading this who are familiar with my repertoire: what songs should I concentrate on getting back into shape. What, out of the songs you know that I play, either my own or by others, would you most like to hear me do more often? Given what you know of my current talents, what songs should I look into learning that would suit my style and skill?

I play as much for the enjoyment of those around me as I do for myself, so here’s your chance to let me know what you’d most like to hear me do. 🙂

Closing the Book on 2005

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On January 11, 2006

In Blog

I’ve been debating how much I want to talk about 2005. In many ways, it was a painful year. There were highlights, of course. kitanzi and I spent half of February honeymooning in England, I got to visit New York City for the first time, and we celebrated our first wedding anniversary and fourth couples anniversary. I developed a much closer romantic relationship with aiela, which brought me joy, and cultivated an intimate and satisfying friendship with klrmn.

On he downside, I spent much of the second half of the year fighting off depression, much of it wrapped up in a specific single issue that ultimately was not resolved satisfactorily. In the process, I learned a lot of useful things about myself, and a lot of things I wish I hadn’t about someone else, leaving me ultimately more disappointed than I was with the outcome of the issue.

Between myself and kitanzi, we had a lot of medical issues, the most major of course being her shoulder surgery in November. I’m still working to get a handle on my blood pressure. We started and then faltered on a fitness plan, partly due to various infirmity, but mostly on my part due to my depression.

My task for 2006 is to take the good stuff above with me, while leaving the bad behind. I will make my 2006 be a year of light and love and joy and hope and promise, for myself and all of those I care about. How’s that for a New Year’s resolution?

Forward.

Personal soundtrack: New Years edition

By

On January 1, 2006

In Blog

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Sigh

By

On January 1, 2006

In Blog

Today, I finally got the answer I’d been waiting for.

It wasn’t the answer I had hoped for, but its the one I had come to anticipate.

Still, for all the pain and anguish, it was worth the effort. The value is in the journey, not the destination. Hope you find what you’re searching for, love. It must be out there somewhere.

Aural Vixation

By

On January 1, 2006

In Songs

Aural Vixation
by Robert Wynne
Music: “The Girl Who’s Never Been” by Michelle Dockrey
© 2006

This last weekend I had gone to an SF music con
And I sat down at the concert Friday night
Songs of battle filled the room, torch songs followed none too soon
And the classic songs were all a big delight
Having heard all of the rest, the last set would decide the best —
On the stage there stepped a girl with hair of red.
And she sang to us this song; although it wasn’t very long
Since that moment it’s been trapped and it won’t get out of my head!

Save me! Save me!
It’s trapped in my head, you see!
Oh no, I think it’s starting up again!
Save me! Save me!
It won’t leave my memory!
I swear, this is the song that never ends!

Many other songs were played, I’m not quite sure why this one stayed;
Four days later and it’s still on endless play.
Other earworms can’t prevail, even “It’s A Small World” failed,
But it’s stuck in here and it won’t go away
So I went to see the girl who let it loose upon the world
She said “My lord, aren’t you guys sick of it by now?”
I suppose it could be worse, at least this is a pleasant curse
But I would send it out of my head if you’d only tell me how!

Save me! Save me!
It’s trapped in my head, you see
Oh no, I think it’s starting up again
Save me! Save me!
It won’t leave my memory
I swear, this is the song that never ends

Just another west coast filker singing her songs late at night
Sitting with her pers’nal guitarist and notebook held too tight
Just a singer in the circle with a smile bright as the sun
But I don’t know how she does the things she’s done

“Oh, take pity on me please! I’ll even get down on my knees!”
I begged her to relieve my aching brain
She said “Well, now since it’s you, I guess I’ll see what I can do”
And with a wink began to sing again
Well, I sat and listened well as she began to tell the tale
Of the man who makes a family of his crew
And it wasn’t very long until she finished up the song
And now where there’d been just one song, there suddenly were two!

Take love! Take land!
Take the place where I can stand!
But you can’t take the sky away from me!
Take out! To black!
Tell them that I won’t be back
I swear, you cannot take the sky from me!

And she faded, leaving just this parody

Naked Ambition

By

On January 1, 2006

In Songs

Naked Ambition
by Robert Wynne
Music: “Close to You” by Burth Bacharach and Hal David
© 2006

Why do I, every time I dream,
Picture you….and whipped cream?
It’s just like me to want to see
Clothes off you….

I forget what I meant to say
When you wear lingerie;
That is why I long to spy
Clothes off you…

On the day that you were born
You came out wearing nothing
That’s the reason that it’s called a birthday suit…
Please understand, from where I stand
That birthday suit you’re wearing is a beaut!

I admit…I’m not a subtle guy.
It’s not hard to see why
I approve each time you remove
Clothes from you

Small Town Dungeon

By

On January 1, 2006

In Songs

Small Town Dungeon
by Robert Wynne
Music: “Dollar Fifty Movies” by Ookla the Mok
© 2006

What can you do when you’re all broke and you’re out of work
How can you score some easy gold
The stairs led down, I lit a torch and I went in
Into the darkness and the cold

I’m going to the dungeon
That little small-town dungeon
A small-town dungeon won’t hold a lot
I’m going to the dungeon
That little small-town dungeon
A +1 dagger’s all that I’ve got
But a +1 dagger, that ain’t a lot
To fight your prey

I can cast a single spell
Then my use is shot to hell
I searched my tomes and learned them well
I packed my candle, book and bell

I’m going to the dungeon
The little small-town dungeon
A small town dungeon won’t hold a lot
Finding lots of treasure is always such a pleasure
When a +1 dagger’s all that you’ve got
And you tried to sneak through but you got caught

You hope the guards are kobolds
‘Cause you aren’t feeling too bold
And a troll is more than you want to face
You wouldn’t mind a goblin if he’s hurt and kinda hobblin’
And the cleric knocks him out with a mace
Just bops him on the head with a mace

There’s power when you find a new wand that shoots fire
And the chest of gold that’ll bring you the comfot you desire
When the monsters are defeated and won’t give any grief
To a wizard, a cleric, two fighters and a thief

Home from the dungeon
The little small town dungeon
We brought back the loot they said was so grand
It was eighty pounds of silver, a magic bow and quiver
And a ring of elemental command
And this thing that looks like Vecna’s left hand
We’ve got it made!

Nothing to loot and nothing to slay
We’ll have to come back another day
When it fills back up with prey
We’ll come and collect our pay

We’re not going to that dungeon
That little small town dungeon
Cause that little dungeon don’t hold a lot
We’re not going to that dungeon cause a bigger one is more fun
And by this time my level’s gone up a lot
And when we stagger out, I’m left with one thought
We got away!

All For Me Swag

By

On January 1, 2006

In Songs

All For Me Swag
by Robert Wynne and Bill Sutton
Music: “All For Me Grog” (trad)
© 2006

Chorus:
It’s all for me swag, me jolly, jolly swag
All for me hoard and me treasure
Well, I spent all my g.p. on a brand new sword +3
So its down into the caverns I must wander

Where are me boots? Me seven leaguer boots?
All for me hoard and me treasure
Well, they gave me a long stride and they split me underside
So its down into the caverns I must wander

Chorus

Where is me helm? Me magic, mystic helm?
All for me hoard and me treasure
It protected me from pain till the flayers ate my brain
So its down into the caverns I must wander

Chorus

Where is me mage? Me wimpy little mage?
All for me hoard and me treasure
To beat the troll she planned to use a spell called ‘Burning Hands’
So its down into the caverns I must wander

Chorus

Oh, where is me thief? My sneaky halfing thief?
All for me hoard and me treasure
Well he snuck off in the night with the loot from our last fight
So its down into the caverns I must wander

Chorus

Oh, where is me dwarf? Me sturdy fighting dwarf
All for me hoard and me treasure
Well, he took a fireball hit, and it blew him all to…….heck
So its down into the caverns I must wander

Chorus

I’m stabbed in the head, and I’d rather stay in bed
To finish healing from our last adventure
But I spent up all me dough, raising everyone I know
So its down into the caverns I must wander

Ordinary Tree

By

On January 1, 2006

In Songs

Ordinary Tree
by Robert Wynne
Music: “Ordinary Day” by Great Big Sea
Inspired by: “Sycamore Tree” by Seanan McGuire
© 2006

Saw your name on the tree, your initials surround mine
I wonder who carved them there for me to find, oh-oh.
It’s a lie, but it’s also a fact
I love you, but I can’t come back
‘Cause I must fly…

And I say….Way-hey-hey, I’ve just got to fly away
And you’re not going to call me home
And the end of the day, I know I must fly on my own

I did all that I could to keep you from dying
And you’ll never know why I can’t keep from crying
But you fit in this small town world
And I can’t be a small town girl
No, I must fly…

Way-hey-hey, I’ve just got to fly away
And you’re not going to call me home
And the end of the day, I know I must fly on my own

We each paid our dues and we each played our parts
But there’s no second chances, there’s no second starts, oh no
And you’re not coming back through my door
But I know now who this song is for
And I must fly…

Way-hey-hey, I’ve just got to fly away
And you’re not going to call me home
And the end of the day, I know I must fly on my own

Saw your name on the tree, your initials surround mine….

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