The Drunken Baby’s Lullaby

TTTO Mockingbird/Hush Little Baby (trad)
Lyrics by Rob Wynne & TJ Burnside Clapp

Hush little baby, don’t you fear
Mama’s gonna buy you a nice cold beer
And if that beer don’t taste so fine
Mama’s gonna pour you a glass of wine
And if that wine’s a bit too dry
Mama’s gonna mix you a tall Mai Tai
And if that Mai Tai mix runs out
Mama’s gonna bring you a Guinness Stout
And if that Stout should make you fret
Mama’s gonna make you a gin gimlet
And if that gimlet glass gets broke
Mama’s gonna mix you a rum and coke
And if that rum and coke lacks power
Mama’s gonna bring you a whiskey sour
And if that whiskey sour’s too sweet
Mama’s gonna pour you a bourbon, neat
And if that bourbon makes you wail
Mama’s gonna mix you a rusty nail
And if you still won’t sleep after all of these
Someone mix mama up a double, please!
This was a lovely bit of comment improv between TJ and myself, prompted by a photo her husband Mitchell posted on her FB wall back in 2016:

I started it off, and we just traded back and forth until there was a whole song. 

This song pairs well with “Don’t Cry, My Dear, Have a Cracker”.