The Ironforge Song
by Rob Wynne
TTTO: “The Toronto Song” by Three Dead Trolls In A Baggie

I hate the Great Forge and the Mystic Ward too
The Hall of Explorers and the Tinker Town crew
The roof is too high, the air is too dark
Its covered with lava and there isn’t a park
The men are all drunk and the women won’t wench
and the children are loopy cause they fell in a trench
The water is frozen and the king has no friends
And they wear lift boots and they think they’re Stormwind
In Ironforge, Dun Morogh

(Spoken)
“You know, actually I pretty much hate all of Dun Morogh!”
“Oh ya, me too!”

I hate Brewnall Village and Anvilmar
Amberstill, Coldridge, and Gol’Bolar
Frostmane sucks and the North Gate sucks
and Kharanos sucks and Gnomeregan sucks

I took a trip to Ironforge to visit Mistina Steelshield
She beat me up and she stole my cloth and she left me in a field
I went to Alterac Valley and was hit in the head by an Orc
(spoken)
I don’t even know how they did it. I mean, I was playing Guitar Hero at the time….

Dun Morogh sucks!

(spoken)
“Yup. Yknow, actually you know now I really think about it, I think I pretty much hate every gosh darn province and territory in the Alliance!”
“Well, except for Westfall
“Ya, ya I love Westfall”
“It’s very nice, lots of cows and trees and rocks and dirt”

But

I hate Darnassus cause they look so weird
And Azuremyst Island is too small
Dustwallow Marsh is dumb ’cause its the name of a swamp
Gadgetzan doesn’t have a good mall
Hillsbrad is a warzone and it makes me mad
Dun Morogh sucks! Dun Morogh Sucks!

(spoken)
Stranglethorn Vale has a population density of 4.9 people per quest objective — isn’t that stupid??”

The Plaguelands are boring and the people are dead
And as for the Redridge Mountains — they’re too red!

(Spoken)
“And the only good thing about the area of Elwynn Forest is that it’s right next to us”

‘Cause Westfall…..doesn’t suck
But Moonbrook does.

Here’s another song that’s likely to make sense only to my friends who play World of Warcraft. It’s also useful to know the song “The Toronto Song” by Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie. To ease confusion on either of these points, I’ve provided a link to the source tune (thanks, YouTube!) and links to all the things referenced from WoW, courtesy of WoWWiki.