Gwnewch y pethau bychain

Tag: songs: my weird brain

Thirteen Ways of Looking At A Cicada

Thirteen Ways of Looking At A Cicada
by Robert Wynne
Music: Various tunes (see note below)
© 2004

If you like squishing cicadas
getting caught in the rain

Oh cicadas, you’re breaking my heart
You’re all on my lawn and I hate you
Oh cicadas, please please go away
For seventeen years i won’t miss you

I’m gonna kill the bugs next door
Ain’t gonna chirp anymore
They’re underground for seventeen years
Then they come up and drink all my beer
Gonna squash em with my boots
How i wish i had a gun that shoots
Gonna kill kill kill kill kill kill kill those bugs

Cicada blues
You make me cry
I don’t wanna lose this feeling
And if i choose for you to die
You would be in your grave

You walk across the lawn and they will crawl up on your pants
Shake them off your shoes and you do a little dance
Worst of all you find their shells are stuck to all your plants
Hey, they’re cicadas!

I squashed cicadas
But i did not squish the ladybugs

Wasting away again here in Cicadaville
Searching for a safe path I can walk

I walked out on my lawn
To face my fears
The last time they were here
Seventeen years
It’s cicadas
They climb on everything
Nowhere to sit
I wish they’d go away
I must admit
Damn cicadas

One day, bugs will rain out
From beneath the rainspout
And then you will hear ci-
cadas come and chirp the night away

Cold rain on the front lawn has softened the grounds
For seventeen years they have slept in their mounds
But now they have surfaced; the night rings with sound
Cicada’s will rise with the moon

They are very noisy bugs
Cicadas chirp outside your bedroom
They go away for seventeen years then they come back
And they get in everything

Those bugs are pretty nasty
(That bug’s a Cicada!)
The kind of bugs you read about
(In science magazines!)
They haven’t left my lawn yet
(The bugs are cicadas)
I think I’m gonna squish them
(Everywhere I step)
They’re not right! They’re not right!
These bugs are not for me!

They are cicadas! Cicadas!
I hate Cicadas!

Little cicadas
Crawling everywhere
You’re pretty sure they’re even crawling in your hair
Where did they come from
Underneath the ground
Seventeen years past and not one could be found

Guess who just got back today
Those little bugs that had been away
Everywhere, cicadas in your way
And if the bugs wanna chirp, you better let ’em

Cicadas were much in the news in 2004, because of the arrival of the once-every-seventeen-years emergence from hibernation cycle. The idea for this came from a conversation I was having in a chat room about the subject.

The thirteen tunes are, in order: (1) “Escape (The Pina Colada Song)” by Rupert Holmes, (2) “Cecilia” by Simon & Garfunkel, (3) “Gonna Kill The Dog Next Door” by The Arrogant Worms, (4) “Bell Bottom Blues” by Derek and the Dominos, (5) “Macarena” by Los del Rio, (6) “I Shot The Sherriff” by Bob Marley, (7) “Margaritaville” by Jimmy Buffett, (8) “And I Love Her” by the Beatles, (9) “Open Arms (Worlds Apart” by Journey, (10) “Giant” by Stan Rogers, (11) “Superfreak” by Rick James, (12) “Lady Madonna” by the Beatles, and (13) “The Boys are Back in Town” by Thin Lizzie.

The entire thing is a meta-parody of Wallace Stevens’s poem “Thirteen Ways of Looking At A Blackbird”

Just In New Zealand

Just In New Zealand
by Robert Wynne
Music: “Only In Kenya”
© 2004

Where can you get temp jobs?
Just in New Zealand!
In New Zealand we got temp jobs!

Say you wanna make movies?
Just in New Zealand!
Got temp jobs and movies: Just in New Zealand!

(Forget Hollywood!)

New Zealand Oh, New Zealand!
Where the dwarves are and the Bree men!

New Zealand! Zealand Zealand Zealand!
New Zealand! Come to New Zealand
(Can you believe it?)

This was an instafilk inspired by a report that New Zealand’s economy had been bolstered by the huge number of temporary jobs the filming of Lord of the Rings had generated. It’s extremely silly, but so is the source tune.

Now, if only someone could animate it. *grin*

Glitter Breasts

Glitter Breasts]
by Robert Wynne
Music: “(Theme From) Spider-Man”
© 2003

Glitter breasts, Glitter breasts
Does whatever she wants with zest
See her boobs catch the light
Sparkly tits, what a sight!
Oh wow! Check out the glitter breasts

Is she cute? listen guy
She makes rain fall from the sky
Catch you down in the pool
Ride you like a pony, cool!
Woo-hoo, check out those glitter breasts!

In the heat of the night
On the dancefloor below
Watch her catching the light
She will shimmer and glow

Glitter breasts, Glitter breasts
Never doubt that she is the best
Shakes her ass, perfect size
Money-maker wins the prize

Oh yeah, whenever there’s a contest
She never causes unrest
Cheer for her glitter breasts!
There’s really not a lot to say about this song. Other than the fact that I know I will someday actually come face to face with Seanan again, and there will be a long awkward silence, after which I will stammer, in my best Jack Davenport voice, “I love you….”

Love ya, Seanan. *mwah*

Consumed By Wonder

Consumed By Wonder
Lyrics and Music by Robert Wynne
© 2001

Hundred Acre Wood
is dark
is dark
is closing in
Shadows linger shadows leap
from behind from within
swirling spectres soundless formless
timeless ageless seamless screaming
shifting sliding swirling swooping
down upon me in the closing of the dark
of the dark
of the dark
of the Hundred Acre Wood

Alice’s Wonderland
is dark
is dark
is closing in
Shadows shuffle shadows flee
from below from without
stalking phantoms mindful prideful
vengeful willful skillful streaming
swerving skulking stalking swooping
up behind me in the closing of the dark
of the dark
of the dark
of Alice’s Wonderland

The Emerald City
is dark
is dark
is closing in
Shadows startle shadows fly
from above from withstanding
creeping spirits spaceless graceless
endless trendless friendless weeping
seeping sleeping creeping swooping
from within me in the closing of the dark
of the dark
of the dark
of the Emerald City
This song was written during a particularly difficult time in my life, and is an attempt to evoke the emotions I was working through at the time as I travelled over some especially dark internal landscapes.

Dark World

Dark World
by Robert Wynne
Music: “It’s A Small World, After All”
© 1992

It’s a world of darkness
A world of pain
It’s a world of sadness
A world of rain
Don’t you ever ask why
Won’t be long till you die
It’s a dark, dark world

It’s a dark world, after all
It’s a dark world, after all
It’s a dark world, after all
It’s a dark, dark world
I wrote this bit of silliness way back in 1992 when we were first being introduced to White Wolf’s Vampire: The Masquarade, and then promptly forgot about it until someone triggered the memory. Almost every song I wrote before 1998 was kept in paper notebooks and perished when my apartment burned down, so this is actually the oldest surviving song of mine I have.

Page 2 of 2

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén