Gwnewch y pethau bychain

Tag: conversations Page 1 of 2

Now Why Would I Ever Stop Doing This?

Actual conversations at my house:

Me: “So, sure, lots of people know that’s called a ball-peen hammer, but they may not know that it’s called that because the peen of the hammer is shaped like a ball, rather than it just being a weird name for a hammer.
Her: “Right, it could have been invented by Joe Ballpeen.”
Me: “A claw hammer is technically a claw-peen hammer. All hammers have a peen”
Her: “True, true.”
Me: “All boy hammers do, at least.”
Her: “What would a girl hammer look like?”

I’ve got the brain, you’ve got the looks…

Jeff has been visiting this weekend, which means the conversation level in our house gets more surreal than normal. (This is no bad thing.)

We were having a discussion about a great list of songs by band which were mostly one-hit wonders, and I was saying how I had kibitzed over the inclusion of the Pet Shop Boys, who had numerous top-20 singles in the 80s, and were even bigger in Europe.

Me: And of course, they were pioneers of gay disco, and that’s no small thing.
Larissa: I didn’t even know there was such a think as gay disco.
Me: Oh yes.
Larissa: Apparently, I’ve been hanging out with the wrong people.
Me: You obviously haven’t been hanging out with gay people at discos.
Larissa: I like gay people. It’s the disco I object to.
Jeff: How do you know a disco is gay, anyway?
Me: Easy. It makes passes at other discos.
Larissa: So what does a straight disco make passes at?
Me: (shrugs) A laundromat?

Fun on IRC

Random conversation from an IRC channel I frequent:

El: I want…
El: GTea.
El: Err, no g.
El: Just tea.
autographedcat: G’Tea was a great Narn. He was the one who came up with the idea of infusing dried leaves in hot water, and hence the beverage is named for him.
El: Hahaha.
El: But it was the great, powerful Centauri, Oolonghi, who truly made G’tea’s drink special. Before that? Mud water!

I love my friends.

Reasons I adore , #2,991,322 in an ongoing series

Online conversation from today, discussing potentially problematic questions on an exam she’d given:

autographedcat: Bonus question #2: “What do they mean, ‘if a woodchuck could chuck wood’. Is there any point in calling it a woodchuck if it can’t? Defend your answer, quote Sartre if necessary.”
autographedcat: (i have no idea what class you’re teaching right now. I’m just feeling exceptionally silly)
catalana: Logic
catalana: 🙂
autographedcat: Well, there you go, then. The Woodchuck question is completely applicable.
catalana: Sartre believes that existence precedes essence, i.e., that we can create ourselves into whatever we wish to be. Hence he would be perfectly fine with a woodchuck existing even if it couldn’t chuck wood.
catalana: Aren’t you glad you asked? 🙂

Good for the soul…

Conversation from this morning:

Me: You keep lying there like that, I’m going to take it as invitation.
Her: I don’t think you could go again right now if you wanted to.
Me: (mock indignant) I beg your pardon! I am a tool-wielding mammal, madam!
Both: (momentary silence, followed by falling out laughing)

We laugh a lot. It’s how I know we’re ok.

IM Improv

When hejira2006 and I were teenagers, we used to frequently amuse ourselves doing improv in our living rooms. In fact, somewhere, floating around the universe, are several audio cassettes of our improv radio shows. It’s a habit we’ve never actually gotten out of, and quite often one or the other of us will start an IM conversation with a cryptic remark. Sometimes we pick it up and run with it, and sometimes we don’t.

Today, we picked it up and ran with it. Here’s a little glimpse into the mind that is Jeff and Me:

Jeff: The streetcar is going up the hill
Rob: The dog barks at midnight
Rob: (This is news? The dog barks at everything. Stupid dog)
Jeff: But the dog barks in Morse code
Jeff: You’re supposed to have been recording the messages!
Rob: Oh. Sorry about that. Tea?
Jeff: Tea? Tea?!? TEA?!?!?!?

You’re talking about tea when weeks worth of PowerBall numbers have been lost for good?!?!?!?
Jeff: Oh well, at least we have the gerbil squeaks. I mean, thanks to you, we no longer have the dog as a confidence check, but, still, all is not lost.
Rob: Yes, well, no need to get worked up, old chap. Everything looks better after a good cuppa tea.
Jeff: So, what news from our friend the gerbil?
Rob: The cat seems to have eaten him sometime after Boxing Day. The children were devastated, but, cycle of life and all that, you know. Cream and sugar?
Jeff: Okay…I passed out. Now, where’s the fucking cat? What has the cat said since ingesting out friend the gerbil?
Rob: Er. Meow.
Rob: She seems quite definate about it. probably says it 20 or 30 times an hour. Biscuit?
Jeff: >:(
Jeff: Do you know…I mean, do you KNOW what the PowerBall is up to? Hmmmmm?
Rob: Attempting to overthrow our very way of life and enslave us all under their totalitarian regime, I imagine. Same as always. Try the scones, they’re quite good today.
Jeff: What we have here is…failure…to communicate.

You’re thinking of Paeur Bahl, the dictator of Snakitoba
Rob: Oh, quite. Nasty chap. He’s sorted then?
Rob: Oh. Do you really think that will work then? Seems a bit dodgy, as plans go. Still, as long as the kettle works, can’t be too bad.
Jeff: How did you get your license to operate with Sneaky Services (TM)(R)?????
Rob: My boy, I’ve been with Sneaky Services(TM)(R) since before your father was a hopeful gleam in your grandmother’s eye. Do try to calm down.
Jeff: But…you haven’t been decoding the dog’s bark, you let the cat eat the prognosticating gerbil, and you haven’t paying attention to a single word the cat said since. You forgot about the PowerBalll to overthrow Paeur Bahl, and your blathering about tea? Tea?!?!?!?
Rob: Yes, well, when things look especially dire, a good cup of tea is just the thing to get perspective, don’t you agree?
Rob: (Clive Anderson should buzz us out any moment now…)

(Yes, we really are like this pretty much all the time.)

Historic cat

This morning, our cat Dayna (seen in my userpic) was being very annoying. kitanzi finally got fed up and this conversation ensued:

kitanzi: Dayna, stop it. You’re obnoxious!
autographedcat: And disliked.
kitanzi: You know that’s true.
autographedcat: Yes, I do.
kitanzi: And apparently historical.

Dear lord, our cat is the reincarnation of John Adams.

More bad crossovers

During an IM conversation with hejira2006, this popped out of nowhere:

FRANKLIN: “That John Adams is one bad motherf—”
FRANKLIN: “I’m just talkin’ about John Adams!”

DICKINSON: “He’s a complicated man, and no one understands him…”
WILSON: “But his woman?”
DICKINSON: No, seriously. *No one* understands him”

Amusing tidbits

Conversation between myself and kitanzi this morning:

autographedcat: (lying across the bed, stretching my back): I want a medieval torture rack for my birthday.
kitanzi: Um….sure.
autographedcat: I want it to help stretch out my back.
kitanzi: But where would we put it?
autographedcat: Yeah, that’s always the problem with exercise equipment.

Today in Creative Loafing, there was a sidebar article about a new DVD series designed to help parents get their toddlers well indoctrinated to follow the right university sports:

“I’m pregnant.” “I’m getting a tattoo.” “His name is Snake, and we’re in love.”

Those are all words most parents dread. But if you went to the University of Georgia, there is one phrase above all others you don’don’t want to hear from your teenager: “I’m enrolling at Florida.”

Up until now, there was only so much parents could do to instill in their children a love of all things UGA. You could take them to games,make them listen to Larry Munson, teach them the Bulldog fight song.But in the end, you just had to trust that you had raised them right.

Now Bulldog parents have a secret weapon. A company called Team Baby Entertainment has released a DVD called Baby Bulldog, which “allows parents, grandparents, alumni and friends to share their love, loyalty and passion for their university with their children.”

The DVD is targeted toward babies and toddlers and uses Sesame Street tactics to “teach” kids just how great it is to be a Bulldog.The video features young children dressed up in UGA costumes, and footage of the university’s sports teams, mascot and marching band “to expose children to the university in an exciting and playful manner.”Translation: If you’re desperate for your kid to follow in your footsteps and you’re not above brainwashing, this DVD is for you.

Didn’t attend UGA? Don’t worry, Team Baby Entertainment makes DVDs for parents from a variety of large universities, including LSU,Auburn, Florida State and — sorry, UGA fans — Florida.

A product which nicely fills a much-needed gap.

Elsewhere on LJ today, cjdoyle shared some of his Viagra-themed spam in a friends-locked entry, prompting this insta-filk. I hope you enjoy it…i spent minutes writing it:

The Love Pill
TTTO: (Theme From) The Love Boat

Love, Exciting and new
Pop the pill. She’s waiting for you
Love, life’s sweetest reward
Get it up, it stays up for you

Soon you’ll be ploughing another field
Four hours of fun just one dose will yield
Set a course for erection
Your mind on a new romance

Love won’t hurt anyone
See her open legs on a friendly bed

I’ll get me coat…

Random conversations about computer products

For those of you who have never seen it, Woot.Com is a website that traffics in a variety of items, usually selling one item per day at a large discount over normal retail. The stuff they offer tends by and large to be geek-tech oriented (computers, AV equipment, with the occasional oddkin tossed in for variety).

Tonight, while popping through, I saw this, prompting the following conversation:

kitanzi: What is that?
autographedcat: It’s a computer accessory set shaped like frogs. See: keyboard, mouse, and speakers. Frogs.
kitanzi: They keyboard isn’t shaped like a frog. No wait, it is.
autographedcat: Yeah, see – there’s the eyes, and there’s its little hands.
kitanzi: Roadkill frog, more like.
autographedcat: Maybe that’s why the mouse and the speakers look so alarmed. <does South Park voices> “Oh my God, they killed Kenny!” “You BASTARDS!”

Page 1 of 2

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén