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Your Call Is Very Important To Us…

By

On January 1, 2006

In Songs

Your Call Is Very Important To Us…
by Robert Wynne and Larissa March
Music: “Nessie Come Up” by Dr. J. Robinson
© 2006

The customer sits by his keyboard
He needs to reach tech support
His coffee goes cold
while he’s waiting on hold
Three hours at the last report
The muzak plays soft in the background
As a voice he no longer believes
Says “Each call will be
Answered momentarily
In the order that it was received”

Thank you for holding on still,
For waiting for us so long,
For being polite and holding all night,
Your hope and your faith are so strong!
We thought that you might, we bet we were right,
We see that we weren’t wrong!
Thank you for waiting so, waiting so, waiting so,
Thank you for waiting so long!

He daydreams of a working computer
As the music his thoughts intertwine
He starts to lose hope
He’ll be able to cope
When a cheerful voice comes on the line
He tells her his problem in detail
And all of his details and specs
“Oh, sorry, sir you
Got into the wrong queue
I’ll transfer you, hold just a sec…”

Thank you for holding on still,
For waiting for us so long,
For being polite and holding all night,
Your hope and your faith are so strong!
We thought that you might, we bet we were right,
We see that we weren’t wrong!
Thank you for waiting so, waiting so, waiting so,
Thank you for waiting so long!

The morning sun shines through the window
As he slumps in his chair, fast asleep
The phone in his lap
He succumbed to a nap
And slowly the hours have creeped
A puzzled technician asks three times
“Hello, is there anyone there?”
Then she shrugs and moves on
As he wakes with a yawn
To hear that same tape loop declare…

Thank you for holding on still,
For waiting for us so long,
For being polite and holding all night,
Your hope and your faith are so strong!
We thought that you might, we bet we were right,
We see that we weren’t wrong!
Thank you for waiting so, waiting so, waiting so,
Thank you for waiting so long!

Where’s The Filkcircle

By

On January 1, 2006

In Songs

Where’s The Filkcircle
by Robert Wynne
Music: “Where’s the Orchestra” by Billy Joel
© 2006

Where’s the filkcircle?
Wasn’t this supposed to be an SF con?
Here I am, wandering the halls
How the hell could I have missed rousing guitars?

I liked the masquerade
Even though I had absolutely no idea at all
What was being said in all the panel talks
There’s the big name fan
The leading pro who never left the audience

Where’s the filkcircle?
After all, this is my big weekend from home
My trip to faerie, or the stars to roam
I assumed that a con would have a song
So I was wrong
So I’ll just sit right here
And play my guitar softly in the atrium
Then slowly one or two
Stop to hear a song
Then sit and sing along

And after the con is done
And after the last dog falls
The last note calls
From an open chord
At the filkcircle

Love May Yet Survive This Fall

By

On January 1, 2006

In Songs

Love May Yet Survive This Fall
Lyrics by Robert Wynne
Music by Katy Dröge
© 2006

The breeze is blowing through the grass
The stars are shining bright
Your voice echoes inside my head
From when we talked last night

You told me that you missed me
I wished that you were here
And this moment all I want is
to hold you warm and near

Have you ever seen the rainbow arch
Above the waterfall?
Did you think that it meant something good –
or anything at all?
Have you ever wished upon a star
or called dreams from the sea?
If so, you’ll know why all I want
is to have you here with me.

I’ve camped on sandy beaches and I.ve
walked along the strand
I’ve climbed green mountain paths to find
The highest place to stand

But I never found a single place that
Ever felt so right
As when you took me in your arms
And held me in the night

Have you ever seen the rainbow arch
Above the waterfall?
Did you think that it meant something good –
or anything at all?
Have you ever wished upon a star
or called dreams from the sea?
If so, you’ll know why all I want
is to have you here with me.

(Bridge)
I’ve learned a lot to get this far
And I know this much is true
Whatever path I walk next
Will be one I walk with you
Cause time can bring surprises
No one ever could have seen
And love may yet survive this fall
As winter yields to spring

There’s still a thousand miles that cannot
simply be erased
But we have hope and love and truth
And dreams we haven’t chased

And so until this distance is
A memory of the past
I give to you my heart to hold
And trust that love will last

Have you ever seen the rainbow arch
Above the waterfall?
Did you think that it meant something good –
or anything at all?
Have you ever wished upon a star
or called dreams from the sea?
If so, you’ll know why all I want
is to have you here with me.

This is one of those songs that  took a long time to be finished. I started writing it in 2001, and intended it to be a birthday present for kitanzi. But it wouldn’t quite come together, and so it got put aside. About a year later, I revisited the lyrics and finished them, but could never quite find a tune to fit them that made me happy. So I started looking around for someone to compose the music, and it finally ended up in the hands of katyhh, who did a wonderful job of it.

The song was debuted during katyhh and shannachie‘s concert at Gafilk — it was the first time I’d heard the tune, and the first that kitanzi was aware the song even existed. Definitely one of the highlights of the con for me. 🙂

Lawyers, Guns, and Honey

By

On January 1, 2006

In Songs

Lawyers, Guns, and Honey
by Robert Wynne and Jeffrey Williams
Music: “Lawyers, Guns, and Money” by Warren Zevon
© 2006

Well, I went to talk to Piglet
Kanga, Owl, and Roo
I wish somebody’d told me
That Tigger’d be there, too

We went walkin’ to the mill pond
Saw Eeyore’d fallen in
Send lawyers, guns, and honey
Yeah, Tigger’s bounced again

Oh, I’m a bear of little brain
I’m full of cheer and pluck
Just halfway into Rabbit’s hole
And I found I was stuck
Yes, I found I was stuck
Well, I found I was stuck

Now I’m hanging from balloon strings
I’m a desperate bear
Send lawyers, guns, and honey
The bees have seen me there

Send lawyers guns and honey
Send lawyers guns and honey
Send lawyers guns and honey
Send lawyers guns and honey

Daily Digest

By

On December 31, 2005

In Blog

John Scalzi (aolscalzi) links to a story revealing Roto-rooters list of strange things they have pulled out of plumbing, including an Civil War cannon shell, a collection of miniature liquor bottles, and a live cat.

Oh wow, I would LOVE to go and see the World Pyro Olympics:

The World Pyro Olympics is an annual international competition amongst the most prestigious fireworks companies in the world. Nine international participants will showcase the best of classical pyrotechnic displays. On the final eve of the event, the sky will be illuminated by The World Pyro Olympics Fellowship of Fire Pyrotechnic Display -a joint fireworks display from the nine countries and the organizer, La Mancha Pyro Productions.

Five days of fireworks. Wow. Cool. (Too bad it just ended…)

Reuters reports that a pound of rare Indonesian coffee, unique for having passed through the digestive tract of a nocturnal tree-dwelling mammal called a palm civet, costs $175, making it the most expensive coffee in the world and proof that no matter how silly you think people can be, they are actually capable of being even sillier.

MedPage Today reports that Harry Potter is not only a literary sensation, but he may be helping keep muggle kids safe.

That’s the opinion of researchers here, who found that when the latest installments of the Harry Potter books came out, the number of kids showing up in the emergency room with broken bones, sprains, scrapes and bruises went down significantly.

Apparently, kids were just so wild about Harry that they didn’t have time to ride a skateboard down a flight of stairs, or weave a scooter through heavy traffic.

Finally, proving that all you *do* need is love, British millionaire Sharon Tendler married her sweetheart of 15 years, a 35 year old Dolphin named Cindy, in a touching and likely quite damp ceremony in the Israeli resort of Eilat on Thursday.

“I’m the happiest girl on earth,” the bride said as she chocked back tears of emotion. “I made a dream come true, and I am not a pervert,” she stressed.

Best wishes and long life to the happy….couple.

Today’s meditation

By

On December 31, 2005

In Blog

When Pablo Casals was 95, he would practice his cello six hours a day. Someone asked him ‘Why do you do that?’

He said, ‘Because I think I’m making progress.’

One more link for the night

By

On December 29, 2005

In Blog

Thanks to kobold, I’ve now seen the weirdest thing I’m likely to tonight.

The Ultimate Showdown

(Requires Flash.)

Daily Digest

By

On December 29, 2005

In Blog

According to an Associated Press article, the science journal Nature found that in a head-to-head comparison, the online encyclopedia Wikipedia was substantially as accurate as the Encyclopedia Britannica.

Will Shetterly (shetterly) links to a report in The Christian Century: The University of Geneva’s Rodolphe Kasser will soon be publishing a translation of the long-lost Gospel According to Judas Iscariot. The gospel, first mentioned as early as 180AD by Irenaeus of Lyon, will be an English translation of a fourth century Coptic language text discovered a few decades ago at Muhazafat Al Minya in Middle Egypt. I’ve always been facinated by apocryphal texts like the Gnostic Gospels, so this should be quite a lot of fun to read. More information about the text can be found here.

Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett offer up New Years Resolutions for Ariziphale and Crowley, characters from their novel Good Omens, which HarperCollins is apparently issuing a new hardcover edition of in 2006.

thespian points to one of the more bizarre things I’ve ever seen printed, A Ziggy Stardust comic book.

Someone on rec.arts.comics.strips points to this lovely essay by Mark Evanier detailing a chance encounter with Mel Torme in Los Angeles one Christmastime. It’s a lovely story.

earthmystic ponders the formulation of an anatomy of Love. Lots of stuff here I agree with.

New Scientist Space has a facinating article on thirteen things that don’t make sense, including the placebo effect, dark matter, and cold fusion.

Hrm. Any bidders…? :)

By

On December 28, 2005

In Blog

In the year 2006 I resolve to:
Sell myself on ebay.

Get your resolution here

Daily Digest

By

On December 21, 2005

In Blog

Wired News has a report on Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales’s practice of editing his own bio article, a violation of Wiki ettiquette. This lead the folks on Slashdot to indulge in the form of pointless wankery that passes for sport on Slashdot. I’m not sure why I find it so amusing, but I do.

Speaking of Slashdot, they have a fun Q&A session with Adam Savage and Jaimie Hyneman, the presenters of Discovery’s wonderful TV show MythBusters

Just in time for the holidays, It’s A Wonderful Life in 30 seconds and re-enacted by bunnies. Requires Flash. And a somewhat robust sense of amusement.

Chicago Magazine has a long and fascinating feature article on Sun-Times film critic Roger Ebert. I love reading Ebert’s reviews, not because I always agree with him, but because his obvious passion for the art of movies permeates every word he writes about them. I just finished reading his book, “I Hated Hated Hated This Movie”, a collection of negative reviews from throughout his long career. Go read it, it’s interesting stuff.

Phil Dunlap’s wonderfully funny new comic strip, Ink Pen, ran into a bit of a problem: it turns out, one of it’s signature characters, Captain Victory, shared a name with a character created by the late, great Jack Kirby. Unfortunately, the trademark on the name still belongs to the Kirby estate. Rather than get bogged down in unpleasantness, Dunlap worked the problem into the strip. (Link to first strip in series, which continues through the week.)

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