Home of the Autographed Cat – Page 21 – Gwnewch y pethau bychain

From the echoing annals of history, it’s the interview meme! Here’s how this works. I’ve been given questions from various people, in sets of five. I will answer them, for your enlightenment and entertainment. You can then comment on these answers, and if you choose, request that I give YOU five questions, for which to use on your own blog.

My first set of questions come from Brooke (

hsifyppah

1. What’s a work of non-fiction you really enjoyed reading?

Wow, that’s a lot of non-fiction, because I read a lot of it. I read a lot of history and science for fun. If I had to pick a single book, I might pick Isaac Asimov’s Guide to Shakespeare, which is a wonderful, enormous book which endeavours to give Elizabethan contexts to many things that make little sense to modern audiences. And includes of a lot of the sort of writing that made Asimov’s non-fiction so compelling.

Another book that I return to frequently is Robert X. Cringely’s Accidental Empires, which is a fascinating anecdotal history of the personal computer industry.

2. The hobgoblin’s hat is on your desk! But you left your sensible restraint in your other jacket, so you cannot resist dropping an inanimate object inside just to see what happens. Also you can’t resist describing the resulting chaos, neatly skirting the lack of a question mark anywhere in this paragraph.

I reached for the first thing at hand, which turned out to be a smallish paperclip. For hours, nothing seemed to happen, but over the night a change came, and suddenly the entire house was filled with aluminium armoured praying mantises. At first we tried to fight them, and then we realised that all they really wanted was to go outside and sit on branches, so they could glisten in the sun. So we let them outside, and the scampered up the sides of trees and our apartment complex thinks its some sort of subtle art installation.

3. What’s your favourite limerick that has an educational purpose that you just wrote?

Imagine, if you will, that this is read by NPR’s Carl Kassel.

There are many paths leading to power
But your rise might lead others to glower
One part lemon, one lime
Jack and syrup combine
Win their love with a great whiskey sour.
You can find more drink recipes for world domination in my new book, "First, We Make Manhattans."

4. I just tried to order an autographedcat, and the bartender had no idea what I was talking about. What’s the recipe again?

A very reliable drink! It’s sweet, with a tiny dash of bitters, and is highly adaptable to different liquors to suit different palates.

5. Oh god, it’s EVIL ROB, he has a goatee and an eyepatch and everything. How does he TAKE OVER THE WORLD BWAHAHAHAH? I ask out of simple curiosity.

Evil Rob takes over the world by using his vast evil fortune towards controlling all the worlds reality shows. Once he has completely buy in of the market, he launches Who Wants To Be a Global Despotic Meglomaniac. Despite his great advantage, he’s eliminated in Week 4, and then cancels the rest of the show out of spite. (All of Evil Rob’s plans tend to foil themselves. He’s not a very good villain, mostly because he’s not that good at being genuinely evil.

Don’t Cry, My Dear, Have A Cracker

By autographedcat

On March 26, 2012

In Blog, Songs

Don’t Cry, My Dear, Have A Cracker
(Or, “I Always Swore I’d Never Be One Of Those Parents”)
by Rob Wynne
TTTO: “Don’t Cry For Me, Argentina” (Tim Rice/Andrew Lloyd Weber)

You are unhappy
I don’t know why
And I try to work out how you feel
But you cannot speak words
You just sit there and cry
You don’t believe me
When I say that
It will all be okay
Although you are fed, warm, and dry
I guess it’s just that time of day

You threw aside your bottle
You’ve just been changed
Couldn’t spend your whole day on my lap
Looking out of the window
Taking naps in the sun
So you chose screaming
Running around grabbing everything near
But nothing could calm you at all
And so my last resort is clear

Don’t cry, my dear, have a cracker
It has cheese on, and some salami
It was an hors d’oeuvre
Made for a party
But you can eat one
There’s no one looking

As for nutrition and all that jazz
At this point I really don’t care
You can eat the whole tray
If that’s what you desire
At least you’re quiet
And if you remain still
And promise to nap
Then we can have ice cream for lunch
And soda and all of that crap

Don’t cry, my dear, have a cracker
It has cheese on, and some salami
It was an hors d’oeuvre
made for a party
But you can eat them
There’s no one looking

Have I done too much?
There’s nothing left here, I can’t feed you any more
But all you have to do
Is look at me and cry
And I’ll run to the store…

Inspired in small part by a conversation with Brooke. No actual children were fed inappropriate foods in the making of this song, though a sandwich may or may not have been misappropriated…

I’ve got the brain, you’ve got the looks…

By autographedcat

On March 25, 2012

In Blog

Jeff has been visiting this weekend, which means the conversation level in our house gets more surreal than normal. (This is no bad thing.)

We were having a discussion about a great list of songs by band which were mostly one-hit wonders, and I was saying how I had kibitzed over the inclusion of the Pet Shop Boys, who had numerous top-20 singles in the 80s, and were even bigger in Europe.

Me: And of course, they were pioneers of gay disco, and that’s no small thing.
Larissa: I didn’t even know there was such a think as gay disco.
Me: Oh yes.
Larissa: Apparently, I’ve been hanging out with the wrong people.
Me: You obviously haven’t been hanging out with gay people at discos.
Larissa: I like gay people. It’s the disco I object to.
Jeff: How do you know a disco is gay, anyway?
Me: Easy. It makes passes at other discos.
Larissa: So what does a straight disco make passes at?
Me: (shrugs) A laundromat?

When I find myself in times of trouble…

By autographedcat

On March 20, 2012

In Blog

So, having made a solemn pledge to start updating again, I promptly stopped updating. Which isn’t to say things have been boring around here. runnerwolf came to visit, which was shiny and awesome, and then I went to California for Consonance, which was also shiny and awesome, and then I came home and had the plague, which was dingy and boring, and then Marian Call was in town for a concert, which was back to shiny and awesome.

So, rather than talk about those things, each of which deserves at least a post unto itself, I want to talk about Pop Culture Comfort Food.

This past weekend was mentally fragile for me. I do pretty well most of the time these days, but depression still sucks, and every so often it gets the better of me. There are some things that reliably help, but it’s mostly a matter of just getting through them until my brain chemistry balances out.

Since I had managed to lure kitanzi into playing The Old Republic with me, I got the notion over the weekend to rewatch Star Wars. I followed it up with The Empire Strikes Back because, well, it comes next, doesn’t it. And a couple of things struck me while I was watching it:

1) The Special Editions are fine. Seriously. There’s really nothing wrong with them. (Before you start, I want to note something: Han still shoots first. Really. Go watch. He shoots Greedo, whose gun discharges at strikes the wall. At the very worst, they shoot simultaneously. It’s Not Even A Thing, stop griping about it.)

2) These films are, for me, the cinematic equivalent of a big bowl of macaroni and cheese. I’ve seen them enough times now that they really are like comfort food. I go back to them and I’m 10 again and the world is okay.

kitanzi and I were discussing this last night, and she said that she couldn’t really think of a movie that fit that category for her, but she certainly had books which did, most notably Lois McMaster Bujold’s Vorkosigan series, which she claims to have read more times than she can actually count anymore.

So what are *your* pop culture comfort foods? When you just need something warm and familiar, what entertainment do you turn to?

If my wings should fail me, Lord. Please meet me with another pair…

By autographedcat

On February 29, 2012

In Blog

Woke up this morning to the sound of my chest attempt to forcibly evict one of my lungs from it’s rightful place in my body. Very unhappy about this turn of events.

Working from home today.

I Told You You Could Always Count On Me

By autographedcat

On February 27, 2012

In Blog

Stumbled across this absolutely fantastic cover of “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” in a Popdose article last week. Thought I’d share it. 🙂

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCFRgA2bYuo

But it was obsolete before I opened the box….

By autographedcat

On February 18, 2012

In Blog

Once upon a time, bedlamhouse got a copy of a new video game called City of Heroes. It was an online multi-player RPG set in a comic-book superhero universe, and he suggested to the others in our AD&D group that if we all got copies, we could team up and play together. So I went and bought a copy. After watching me play it for a few days, kitanzi decided it looked like fun, so we went and got her a copy too. For the next three years, we played the game a lot, often just the two of us, often with other members of Penguin Force, our superhero group. But eventually, we did what could be done, and newer shinier games (*cough*World of Warcraft*cough) lured me away from Paragon City. When I made the jump to WoW, kitanzi decided to hang up the MMO habit, not wanting to get addicted to yet another time sink.

Earlier this year, though, CoH, now a venerable old warhorse in the MMO field, announced they were going free-to-play, and old subscribers could reactivate their old characters and play without paying a monthly fee. We both jumped back in, and while I couldn’t recapture my enthusiasm for the game, she had a lot of fun beating up bad guys and flying around.

Last night, kitanzi says to me, “Yeah, I think I’m getting bored with City of Heroes again.”

“Well,” I said, perhaps a bit too eagerly, “If you want to try Star Wars: The Old Republic”, I could get you a copy. We could play together again!” She’d been watching with interest as I’d been playing the game since shortly before its release, and she’d also enjoyed watching me play other BioWare games like Dragon Age and Mass Effect, so she didn’t require much convincing.

I decided that it was probably about time put a proper video card in her machine, though. Integrated graphics were fine for the games she was playing before (I mean, CoH came out in 2004…it’s not really going to stress out a modern system, even without a gamer-spec card in it), but TOR was likely to give it a bit more of a workout.

So, in preparation for this upgrade, I popped open the case to examine her power supply. I honestly expected to need to replace it, because gamer-spec video cards are power-hungry, and this was just a Dell Inspiron intended for general home use. But hey, I figured, check anyway, to make sure. And what I found astonished me.

I had figured I’d find a 280W or 300W power supply. If they’d been really spiffy, maybe a 350W, but I didn’t expect more than that.

It has a 160W power supply.

I checked my calendar to make sure I hadn’t accidentally opened the case of a computer I built in 1995 instead of the one I bought last year. Seriously, Dell, way to go. I’m amazed it even boots.

It’s now fitted out with a 500W PSU and an ATI 6670, which is a solid entry level card that wasn’t too expensive. Now we’re ready to conquer the galaxy!

Maybe I’m amazed at the way you pulled me out of time

By autographedcat

On February 14, 2012

In Blog

For 10 years now, you’ve been the centre of my universe, and the foundation upon which I build all worthwhile things. You followed me to strange and foreign lands, upending your life for the hope of a better one, and you are still willing to do that for no reason other than my happiness. When I said “I want to reshape the universe,” you said “Okay. Where do we start?”

You transformed me into a better version of myself, and I still marvel every day at your quiet grace, your unwavering trust, and your unquenchable imagination. No matter what roads I travel, or what distant truth I seek, home will always be wherever you are, and where I shall always return.

Happy Valentine’s day, Larissa.

I decided long ago never to walk in anyone’s shadows

By autographedcat

On February 14, 2012

In Blog

A lot of people have been reacting over the last couple of days to the death of Whitney Houston. She was, obviously, a superstar, and like any superstar, the news of her death generated a lot of strong opinion and emotion, both good and bad.

But when I heard the news, my first thought was of a more personal moment. I was fifteen years old, and one of a number of sophomores who were tapped to be waitstaff at the junior/senior prom. We scurried around refilling punch bowls and setting out trays of snack food in the lobby area of the gymnasium at the local junior-high school while the older students got their groove on. It was their party, after all. We were just the help.

Just before the last song, the adult chaperones turned us all loose and told us we were welcome to dance that one dance before it was time for everyone to go home. Various of the other kids who were dating filed off. I wasn’t dating anyone, and I was shy, so I was kinda not sure what precisely I should do.

And then Shannon, who was one of my best friends, walked over, cocked her head to the side that way she would, and held out her hand. And we went into the gym, and I held her close to me, and we danced.

The song was “The Greatest Love Of All”, by Whitney Houston. It was a huge radio hit at the time. And that is, hands down, one of my favourite memories of high school, ever.

Goodnight, Ms. Houston. Thanks for being the soundtrack to a perfect moment in time.

The only doom that’s looming is you loving me to death…

By autographedcat

On February 12, 2012

In Blog

Tonight, kitanzi and I continued working our way through the stack of DVDs in the to-be-watched pile. It was her turn to pick, and she chose Thor, a film which I had seen in the theatre but she had not.

Thor is, I thought, a surprisingly good comic-book action flick. I was dubious that a character as inherently silly as Thor could be turned into a decent movie vehicle, but between a JMS co-written script, Ken Branagh’s direction, and a stellar cast headed up by Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, and Anthony Hopkins, it turned out to be a fun, breezy romp, and the Asgaard visuals are nothing less than stunning.

But that’s not what I came to tell you about. I came to tell you about why I’m so very lucky that kitanzi loves me so much.

Towards the end of the film, Thor, having been fully restored his powers, is going to fly off to the transfer site to take the Bifrost bridge back to Asgaard to confront his brother, Loki. He pulls Dr. Foster (Portman) to his side, and flashes her that impossible grin of his, causing her to give out a small, schoolgirlish giggle.

I couldn’t help myself. I leaned over to Kit, and softly whispered, “The hammer is my penis.”

And we both cracked up. We had to pause the movie. And she hit me at least twice over the course of the next half hour.

I’m lucky she loves me. Hell, I’m lucky she’s still speaking to me. 🙂