A few months ago, we had a member of the group I hang out with on Facebook leave the group because he wanted to avoid spoilers1 for Breaking Bad and The Walking Dead. Since the latter show just ended its half-season and is going on hiatus, he rejoined the group and announced he had returned. I replied “Welcome back!” and then, as I reflexively do whenever I say those two words, appended “Your dreams were your ticket out.” It’s just a thing I do.
Somehow, the juxtaposition of the theme from Welcome Back, Kotter and Breaking Bad stayed in my head, and a few minutes later I posted this:
For your consideration:
A 1970s era remake of “Breaking Bad” starring Gabe Kaplan and Ron Palillo.
One commenter noted that Ron Palillo sadly passed away not too long ago; I was aware of that, but somehow it was much funnier to me that our Jesse substitute was Horshack rather than any of the other Sweathogs.23 And, really, it might have ended there, but my friend Joey chimed in “With a theme by John Sebastian”.
At first, I tried to imagine how Sebastian might render Dave Porter’s brilliant Breaking Bad theme, but then I realised I was coming at it backwards. The following just wrote itself:
Your cancer was just an excuse
You always wanted to slip the noose
Well your dreams never were what you’d hoped they’d be
Now you’re out on the res in an old RV
Who’d have thought they’d come true
(Who’d have thought they’d come true)
Crystalised in ice blue
(Crystalised in ice blue)
Well, he’ll prob’ly wind up dead
‘Cause he’s in over his head
Breaking Bad, Breaking Bad, Breaking Bad
I really haven’t a clue what to do with this idea, but it’s continuing to entertain me.
I later decided that Vinnie and Epstein would be Badger and Skinny Pete, respectively. Mr. Woodman is Gus Fring. Not sure there’s a good analogue in this scenario for Freddie. ↩
ETA: No, Boom-boom Washington is Skinny Pete. Vinnie is Combo. That works better. ↩