Gwnewch y pethau bychain


Someone sent a bit of Internet Humour™ to a mailing list I’m on, featuring The top 16 things likely to be overheard if you had Klingon technical writers working on your documentation team”.

Number six on the list was:

6. This version of Word is a piece of GAGH! I need the latest version of Framemaker if I am to do battle with this manual.

I responded that, since gagh was food, and considered a delicacy by Klingons, this phrase made no sense.

But I can’t believe I actually started an e-mail with the sentence “A Klingon wouldn’t say that.”


Story: On the Corner of Galaxy and Fifth




  1. Counterpoint: Just because they eat it doesn’t mean they necessarily LIKE it.

    Or, considering the consistency of Gagh, maybe they were making a joke about MS “Spaghetti Code”

  2. You and need to get together and compare notes. (He knows Klingon.)

    Of course, I have to wonder if Klingons would have technical writers at all. After all, manuals are for the weak, who can’t figure it out from uncommented C source. 🙂 🙂 🙂

  3. No, no, you misunderstand. This is a comment by one of the *human* members of the team, who’s picked up some Klingon speech patterns (“do battle with this manual”), but is using the human opinion of gagh as a referent.

    With a little fannish creativity, you can make anything make sense.

  4. Of course, CodeKlingon would never stand for the manager’s criticism of his work.

  5. In unrelated news, Klingon is by a wide margin the most commonly spoken artificial language. Several times the population of Esperantists.

  6. But I can’t believe I actually started an e-mail with the sentence “A Klingon wouldn’t say that.”

    We can believe it.

    • Sorta reminds me of the story (apocryphal?) of how a network suit supposedly sent back a marked-up episode script to the producers of MY FAVORITE MARTIAN one year, with one of Ray Walston’s lines struck through and tagged with the comment, “A Martian wouldn’t say that.”

  7. Word processor. Food processor. Just sayin’

  8. I was quite amused by your reply, but if you hadn’t posted it already, I would have. LOL!

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