Gwnewch y pethau bychain

Tag: songs: movies and tv

Don’t Panic

Don’t Panic
by Robert Wynne and Jeffrey Williams
Music: “Pink Houses” by John Mellencamp
© 1999

Well there’s an ad man in his bathrobe
Living in his dreary world
They built a new bypass right up to his front door
And you know he’s not feeling so good
Then his old friend, down from Guilford
Says “Arthur, there’s no where to hide,
Let’s go have ourselves a couple of drinks at the pub and talk
and then we’ll catch a ride

Come roam the Galaxy along with me
Come roam the Galaxy, its something to see, Arthur
Come roam the Galaxy, be lonely and free
The Guide says Don’t Panic, Arthur, come roam with me!

Well there’s a Vogon, he’s a captain
Writing down his Vogon poetry
He’s got greasy skin, never smiles
And you know — he doesn’t like strangers
So he threw them in the airlock
Said they would never grow old
Kinda cold and lonely floating round in outerspace
But then came the Heart of Gold


There’s a strange man, on Magrathea, building a brand new planet, oh
He signed his name into a giant glacial mass
and he says he made the fjords in Oslo
And there’s robots, and there’s white mice
But they ain’t no big deal
Cause there’s crazy guards baby
And they will shoot, and shoot, and shoot to kill


The creative process is a funny thing. I was driving home from work late one night when John Mellancamp’s “Pink Houses” came on the radio. When I heard the line about the black man with “an interstate running through his front yard”, I thought of poor Arthur Dent in the Hitchhiker’s series, and this song came out. The scansion’s a bit odd in the chorus, but it works the way I do it.

Still Captain After All These Years

Still Captain After All These Years
by Robert Wynne and Jeffrey Williams
Music: “Still Crazy After All These Years” by Paul Simon
© 1998

I met an old classmate down on Starbase Ten
He seemed surprised to see me, but I just smiled
And we talked about our old ships and had ourselves some beers
I’m still Captain after all these years

Now I’m the kind of man who tends to socialize
I have a brand new girlfriend every day
But I will not make comittments that bind me to one sphere
Still Captain after all these years

My prime directive
Tossed out
I did it all my own way
I never worry
Why should I?
I always save the day

Now I sit by my window and look at the stars
I’ve done far too much damage for just one day
But it always works out for the best despite the Admiralty’s fears
Still Captain after all these years
Admittedly, Kirk spent some time as an Admiral before being busted back to Captain, but it’s obvious that captain is where he belongs.

This song was published in the Gafilk 1999 songbook.

The Night They Drove The Death Star Down

The Night They Drove the Death Star Down
by Robert Wynne and Jeffrey Williams
Music: “The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down” by The Band
© 1998

Luke Skywalker’s my name and I come from the desert plains
And my life was all pretty dull until the stormtroopers came
Now I don’t mind droid repair
And I can fly anything that goes into the air
But you can’t wipe out my whole family
And expect me to take it standing on my feet

The night they drove the Death Star down
All the fighters were coming
The night they drove the Death Star down
And all the lasers were humming
They went pow pow-pow-pow-pow-pow=pow
pow-pow-pow-pow pow-pow-pow-pow

Well I left my home on Tatooine and the rebels called to me
Said “Luke, my friend, come quick, we need you to fly this X-wing”
Well, I had R-2 on my side
And I had men protecthing my hide
But instead of using the Target screen
I relied on the force of some mystery unseen


Like my father before me I’m a Jedi Knight
And like the others before me I won’t run from the fight
I was just eighteen, young and brave
But the empire’s sent many brave men to the grave
Han Solo said that it was suicide
But we fought because we had to stem the tide!


The very first Gafia housefilk I attended, there was a young couple who was also there for their first time, and they wanted to hear a Star Wars song. Improbably, no one had one at hand to sing. So I went home and wrote one.

While this song is written and performed “straight”, it usually gets a good laugh as soon as people figure out what the tune is.

The Master

The Master
by Robert Wynne and Jeffrey Williams
Music: “Free Bird” by Lynyrd Skynyrd
© 1998

If I leave here tomorrow
I’ll just come back yesterday
Because I’ve got this stolen TARDIS
And I won’t let you stand in my way

But If you think to try and stop me
From ruling over the galaxy
I’ll just shrink you down to doll size
‘Cause i’m the Master of all I see

We have always been arch rivals
Since we both left Gallifrey
No matter where or when I’m scheming
It’s always down to you and me

And even though you always beat me
I still feel compelled to try
Cause one day I know I’ll defeat you
And then dear Doctor, you will die
Yes dear doctor you will die!
This song is entirely too silly. I’m sorry. Jeff and I were discussing the idea of writing a “Doctor Who” filksong, since we were both huge DW fans. The first two lines came out of nowhere, and then we had to finish it, just to get rid of it.

To be honest, I’d have buried this one, but I forgot I’d included it with a set of songs I gave to Brenda Sutton, and she chose to publish it. Oh well, serves me right, I suppose. 🙂

This song was published in the Gafilk 2002 songbook.

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