My son is gay « Nerdy Apple Bottom
And all I hope for my kids, and yours, and those of Moms ABC, are that they are happy. If a set of purple sparkly tights and a velvety dress is what makes my baby happy one night, then so be it. If he wants to carry a purse, or marry a man, or paint fingernails with his best girlfriend, then ok. My job as his mother is not to stifle that man that he will be, but to help him along his way. Mine is not to dictate what is ‘normal’ and what is not, but to help him become a good person.
When I went to Strowlercon, I brought back a wirework pendant for my daughter and a book for my son, who hadn’t thus far shown an interest in jewelry. He asked if I had brought him a pendant too. I told him “No, because you never told me you wanted one, but if you do then I will.” He said he did. I got another wireworker, at Seattle’s Strowler Nights last weekend, to make him one, and gave it to him on Monday (and gave a book to his sister, to even things out). He loves it. I am so happy I found him something he likes!!
OK, I know this isn’t exactly what the author meant, but no, I do not think my role as parent is simply to make my child happy.
That is not my job as a parent. I certainly want my child to be happy, but that is not my chief focus.
I am training a future adult. A future adult who should care about his community and his country. A future adult who should understand about things like responsibility.
Of course he should have fun. And yes, I know the point was “don’t flip out if your son’s definition of fun means dressing up like a girl.” And also “how I raise my kid is my business so STFU.” I agree with those. But the “I just want my kid to be happy and filled with self esteem and all that other 60s self-centered stuff” is why we have a generation of people obsessed with themselves and utterly uninterested in making sacrifices for the sake of others.
Yes, it is my job to teach my son what is “normal.” I teach my son that it is normal to want to help others. I teach my son it is normal to take an interest ion the world around him. And yes, I teach my son if he is going to go out dressed summer in winter, or wearing clothing he has outgrown, or whetver else, that he ought to be aware of how people will respond to him as a consequence.
It is possible to take a basically sound idea too far. it is a responsibility of a parent to remember that.
“If my daughter had dressed as Batman, no one would have thought twice about it”
That is the problem. The double standard which thinks nothing of women dressing as men but freaks out if a boy is dressed as a girl. It is still the case that a woman can wear anything a man can wear (assuming it fits) but let a man wear a dress or a skirt (or anything like it, like a mediaeval tunic) and it’s “cross-dressing”. Let them wear a kilt and they’ll be asked if they are wearing underpants (try asking a woman you don’t know what she’s wearing under her skirt and see how fast you end up in court).
Well, when it comes to clothing, women do have more freedom as they may dress feminine or choose not to. But there is a lot of other stuff has double standard which is not particularly in favor for women. I would trade that for male clothing anytime…
Quite frankly, I have trouble understanding mothers ABC. So, the boy dresses up as a female character at the age of 5. So what? As far as I know, in Sweden there was (or is) even a custom to dress up as witches around Easter and collect sweets, boys and girls. I find mothers ABC pretty ridiculus. Must be a cultural thingy, I guess.