Conversation between myself and kitanzi this morning:

autographedcat: (lying across the bed, stretching my back): I want a medieval torture rack for my birthday.
kitanzi: Um….sure.
autographedcat: I want it to help stretch out my back.
kitanzi: But where would we put it?
autographedcat: Yeah, that’s always the problem with exercise equipment.

Today in Creative Loafing, there was a sidebar article about a new DVD series designed to help parents get their toddlers well indoctrinated to follow the right university sports:

“I’m pregnant.” “I’m getting a tattoo.” “His name is Snake, and we’re in love.”

Those are all words most parents dread. But if you went to the University of Georgia, there is one phrase above all others you don’don’t want to hear from your teenager: “I’m enrolling at Florida.”

Up until now, there was only so much parents could do to instill in their children a love of all things UGA. You could take them to games,make them listen to Larry Munson, teach them the Bulldog fight song.But in the end, you just had to trust that you had raised them right.

Now Bulldog parents have a secret weapon. A company called Team Baby Entertainment has released a DVD called Baby Bulldog, which “allows parents, grandparents, alumni and friends to share their love, loyalty and passion for their university with their children.”

The DVD is targeted toward babies and toddlers and uses Sesame Street tactics to “teach” kids just how great it is to be a Bulldog.The video features young children dressed up in UGA costumes, and footage of the university’s sports teams, mascot and marching band “to expose children to the university in an exciting and playful manner.”Translation: If you’re desperate for your kid to follow in your footsteps and you’re not above brainwashing, this DVD is for you.

Didn’t attend UGA? Don’t worry, Team Baby Entertainment makes DVDs for parents from a variety of large universities, including LSU,Auburn, Florida State and — sorry, UGA fans — Florida.

A product which nicely fills a much-needed gap.

Elsewhere on LJ today, cjdoyle shared some of his Viagra-themed spam in a friends-locked entry, prompting this insta-filk. I hope you enjoy it…i spent minutes writing it:

The Love Pill
TTTO: (Theme From) The Love Boat

Love, Exciting and new
Pop the pill. She’s waiting for you
Love, life’s sweetest reward
Get it up, it stays up for you

Soon you’ll be ploughing another field
Four hours of fun just one dose will yield
Set a course for erection
Your mind on a new romance

Love won’t hurt anyone
See her open legs on a friendly bed

I’ll get me coat…