Gwnewch y pethau bychain

Fall of Civilization Imminent. Film at 11

Courtesy of mvaldemar, I learn that a minor league ballpark in St. Louis is serving Krispy Kreme Bacon Cheeseburgers:



It’s sweet like a doughnut, and then you’ve got the hamburger. You’ve read that right. It’s a burger with cheese and bacon, sandwiched between a Krispy Kreme doughnut — a heart attack waiting to happen. A burger so perfect, they say, tampering is discouraged.

“You’re ruining it! You’re not supposed to put ketchup on it!” Bowers says to a diner.

“Well, I don’t know. It’s my first time,” he replies.

For a mere $4.50 it’s breakfast, dinner, and a little dessert all in one. That it packs up to 1,000 calories — the donut alone has 10 grams of sugar — doesn’t seem to faze diabetic diner Floyd Schuetz.

“Oh, I’ll have another one of these,” he says.

That is quite possibly the most horrifying thing I’ve ever seen served on a plate.

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26 Comments

  1. Oh good god. Well, hmmmmmm….. Maybe. I dunno, I mean how much differnt can it be from a McGriddle?

    Oh, just ignore me.

    • You’re much too pretty to ignore.

      As for the McGriddle, I’ve not quite been brave enough to try one of those either, though at least it is combining all breakfasty stuff. For some reason, it doens’t *quite* trigger the same reaction in me.

  2. Ewwww. That’s all I can think of to say…

  3. There is a place here in Atlanta that serves the HamDog…
    seriously…

    It is so unusual that it gets its very own Wikipedia listing:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hamdog

    • And if you go to that Wikipedia link and click on Luther Burger, you’ll discover that the burger above is apparently a Georgia thang.

      The problem is that, bad for you as this beast undoubtedly is, it probably tastes pretty good, given that it’s really just donut, beef patty, bacon, and cheese with no condiments. Sweet and salt go pretty well together.

      • And if you go to that Wikipedia link and click on Luther Burger, you’ll discover that the burger above is apparently a Georgia thang.

        It would please me greatly to enter into the record the fact that I am actually from North Carolina. *grin*

        • Gee, I think the weirdest thing I’ve seen in NY was deep fried candy bars, which in only ours via the Brit restaurant THE CHIP SHOP, in Park Slope.

  4. The applicable Python…

    “This is extremely nasty, but we can’t prosecute you for that.”

    • Re: The applicable Python…

      Now, moving on to item number four on your ballpark menu, the Crunchy Frog Barbecue Sandwich…

  5. Hamburger breakfast donuts?

    There’s a place right next to my office (I’m looking at it out the window now) that advertises

    HAMBURGERS
    BREAKFAST
    DONUTS

    …but as you approach from down the street, another building cuts off the “S” in “hamburgers”, and it looks like it’s advertising “hamburger breakfast donuts”. Which is kind of what these things are….

  6. A pizza chain up here has been recently advertising a new pizza with hamburger patties on it. Not ground hamburger — actual mini char-broiled pattes as a topping.

    • That sounds a little like a Rochester-style cheeseburger trash plate, only with a pizza crust in place of the home fries. Mmm, trash plate….

  7. jeez louise. This is NOT like chocolate and peanut butter. Hot Doughnuts Now are NOT meant to be adulterated by anything other than coffee, dammit.

    (And frankly, I prefer mine with cold 2% milk. After all, the doughnuts are already hot… )

    There’s a reason that’s a MINOR league ballpark. I mean, sure, they serve sushi and fish and chips out here in Safeco… but jeez, man, this is Ichiro country. We know better than to abuse our poor Krispy Kremes out here.

    If’n they really want little gutbomber hamburgers, they should look for signs that say “Krystal” or “White Castle”…

  8. Once in Friendly’s I saw, IIRC, french fries with ketchup, cheese, and sour cream.

    • That’s just cheese fries with some ugly sauces. (There’s a place out here that serves excellent cheese fries, and then delivers then with squirt bottles of ketchup and mustard. Which I have always informed the server are unnecessary.)

      • Which reminds me, I forgot to see if I could order some poutine while I was in Canada back in March. Ah well, next time. 🙂

  9. ewwwwwwwwwwwwww

  10. That goes way beyond “Crime against Nature.” Just…Ewww.

  11. Ouch.

    What a horrible thing to do to yummy Krispy Kremes.

    What a horrible mental image to give me for the next time I eat a Krispy Kreme. Die! die! die!

    Sure, sugar and salt go together OK … some of the time. But not all sugars, not all salts.

    Well, they got their gimmick and attention, which was the goal. *sigh*

    They ain’t getting my patronage, but then again, that wasn’t their goal.

  12. I’m stunned that you could get 19 comments without someone pointing out that this is only following on the heels of that great midwestern trendsetter, the hot dog served on a Twinkie. (You think I’m joking? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twinkie-Wiener_Sandwich)

    But neither of these foods have achieved the nadir of unheathiness. They haven’t been battered and deep-fried.

    (And I was even eating dinner when I wrote this! The trick is not to think about it too hard.)

  13. I want one.

    I can feel my arteries hardening as I type.

  14. Eww. And I say the same about the hot dog served on a twinkie that someone else mentioned. These are crimes against food. 🙂

  15. The thing that horrifies me …

    … is that a diabetic was not only eating one of those, but thinking of going back for another.

    1000 calories! Unless that diabetic has a far more active lifestyle than most of my friends, then two are pretty much the entire day’s intake of calories without a single fruit or vegetable (and no, dough is not a vegetable!)

  16. I am simply beyond words right now…

    “Eww” is about the best I can conjure at 730am, sans coffee.

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