Gwnewch y pethau bychain

Get Yer Ya-Ya’s Out

This is positively, without a doubt, the dumbest thing I have heard since….well, it’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard today, at least.

Ananova reports that a company is developing an mp3 player which can be included in breast implants:

Computer chips that store music could soon be built into a woman’s breast implants.

One boob could hold an MP3 player and the other the person’s whole music collection.

BT futurology, who have developed the idea, say it could be available within 15 years.

BT Laboratories’ analyst Ian Pearson said flexible plastic electronics would sit inside the breast. A signal would be relayed to headphones, while the device would be controlled by Bluetooth using a panel on the wrist.

According to The Sun he said: “It is now very hard for me to thing of breast implants as just decorative. If a woman has something implant

Admittedly, there might be some useful application of this technology, as the article mentions offhandedly in its final paragraph:

The sensors around the body linked through the electrical impulses in the chips may also be able to warn wearers about heart murmurs, blood pressure increases, diabetes and breast cancer.

But seriously, consider the ramifications of this. What if it starts playing randomly during a moment-of-passion short-circuit. If you think your (ABBA|Rick Dees|Winger|Carpenters|Bone Thugs ‘n’ Harmony) collection is embarrassing now, just wait until it’s blaring out of your left nipple at a volume of 11.

What an amazing world we live in.

EDIT: Does this mean that in the future when you say a woman has a “nice rack”, you’ll just be talking about her stereo?

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23 Comments

  1. Not to mention the potential for remote Bluetooth hacks…

  2. *laughs* You made me snerk tea out of my nose. That’s hilarious.

  3. I must confess the immediate thought that went through my mind is thinking “well, one would be the volume er, knob, whilst the other…”

    🙂

  4. People never cease to amaze me

  5. I’m glad I don’t work in an office. Else everyone would think me competely mad for giggling in front of my computer like this. Thanks for this morning smile. 😀

  6. o/~The tits are alive / with the sound of music…o/~

  7. Computer chips in women’s breasts, would these be Silicon Valley Implants?

  8. I hope they’re providing a wireless interface for updating the stored music. I mean, USB… ugh.

  9. It is horrifying, yes. I will pass. Someone is welcome to give me an iPod, but I will keep my all natural breasts as they are. “In stereo” will remain a metaphor!!

  10. Say Whaaa?

    What I want to know, is what about guys? That’s a whole other market that will be left out of the equation, unless they can come up with mp3 capable testicular implants. And seeing as how mp3 players and ipods are so popular with children, wouldn’t DDs look kinda strange on a 10 year old?

    Seriously though, what a totally dumbass idea. The idea of having anything inorganic implanted in my body gives me the Big Brother/Borg heebee jeebees. Uh uh.

    • Re: Say Whaaa?

      What I want to know, is what about guys?

      “No, I’m not pleased to see you, that’s just the FM aerial…” 🙂

  11. Where do you plug in the earphones?

  12. But seriously, consider the ramifications of this. What if it starts playing randomly during a moment-of-passion short-circuit. If you think your (ABBA|Rick Dees|Winger|Carpenters|Bone Thugs ‘n’ Harmony) collection is embarrassing now, just wait until it’s blaring out of your left nipple at a volume of 11.

    That’s grand. May I metaquote you?

  13. Touch that dial, turn me on
    Start me like a motor, make me run
    Lovin’ every minute of it!
    Lovin’ every minute of it!

    Turn that dial all the way
    Shoot me like a rocket into space
    Lovin’ every minute of it!
    Lovin’ every minute of it!

  14. That’s just WRONG, on so many levels. I can’t even begin to add up how WRONG it is.

    Ye gods, who’d want hooting hooters?

  15. Gosh, I’m glad I didn’t read LJ from work today. I would have burst into hysterics, just as I did in the privacy of my own home, and then what would I have said to explain my outbreak of mirth?

  16. Of all The…..

    Things I ever wanted a man to do with my breasts, playing my musical collection was never one, okay? Sheesh!

    Profitne

  17. EDIT: Does this mean that in the future when you say a woman has a “nice rack”, you’ll just be talking about her stereo?

    Not if the person saying that is you 😉

    *runs* *hides*

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