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Thirteen Ways of Looking At A Cicada by Robert Wynne Music: Various tunes (see note below) © 2004 I. If you like squishing cicadas getting caught in the rain II. Oh cicadas, you're breaking my heart You're all on my lawn and I hate you Oh cicadas, please please go away For seventeen years i won't miss you III. I'm gonna kill the bugs next door Ain't gonna chirp anymore They're underground for seventeen years Then they come up and drink all my beer Gonna squash em with my boots How i wish i had a gun that shoots Gonna kill kill kill kill kill kill kill those bugs IV. Cicada blues You make me cry I don't wanna lose this feeling And if i choose for you to die You would be in your grave V. You walk across the lawn and they will crawl up on your pants Shake them off your shoes and you do a little dance Worst of all you find their shells are stuck to all your plants Hey, they're cicadas! VI. I squashed cicadas But i did not squish the ladybugs VII. Wasting away again here in Cicadaville Searching for a safe path I can walk VIII. I walked out on my lawn To face my fears The last time they were here Seventeen years It's cicadas They climb on everything Nowhere to sit I wish they'd go away I must admit Damn cicadas IX. One day, bugs will rain out From beneath the rainspout And then you will hear ci- cadas come and chirp the night away X. Cold rain on the front lawn has softened the grounds For seventeen years they have slept in their mounds But now they have surfaced; the night rings with sound Cicada's will rise with the moon XI. They are very noisy bugs Cicadas chirp outside your bedroom They go away for seventeen years then they come back And they get in everything Those bugs are pretty nasty (That bug's a Cicada!) The kind of bugs you read about (In science magazines!) They haven't left my lawn yet (The bugs are cicadas) I think I'm gonna squish them (Everywhere I step) They're not right! They're not right! These bugs are not for me! They are cicadas! Cicadas! I hate Cicadas! XII. Little cicadas Crawling everywhere You're pretty sure they're even crawling in your hair Where did they come from Underneath the ground Seventeen years past and not one could be found XIII. Guess who just got back today Those little bugs that had been away Everywhere, cicadas in your way And if the bugs wanna chirp, you better let 'em Cicadas were much in the news in 2004, because of the arrival of the once-every-seventeen-years emergence from hibernation cycle. The idea for this came from a conversation I was having in a chat room about the subject. The thirteen tunes are, in order: (1) "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)" by Rupert Holmes, (2) "Cecilia" by Simon & Garfunkel, (3) "Gonna Kill The Dog Next Door" by The Arrogant Worms, (4) "Bell Bottom Blues" by Derek and the Dominos, (5) "Macarena" by Los del Rio, (6) "I Shot The Sherriff" by Bob Marley, (7) "Margaritaville" by Jimmy Buffett, (8) "And I Love Her" by the Beatles, (9) "Open Arms (Worlds Apart" by Journey, (10) "Giant" by Stan Rogers, (11) "Superfreak" by Rick James, (12) "Lady Madonna" by the Beatles, and (13) "The Boys are Back in Town" by Thin Lizzie. The entire thing is a meta-parody of Wallace Stevens's poem "Thirteen Ways of Looking At A Blackbird"
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