Home of the Autographed Cat

Gwnewch y pethau bychain

Page 2 of 147

Look Upon My Gear, Ye Mighty, And Repair

Look Upon My Gear, Ye Mighty, And Repair
by Rob Wynne
TTTO: “Dust In The Wind” by Kansas

My warlock casts
Conjure up a demon from the fiery depths
The spell falls flat
My spec is gone, and everything I learned is wrong
Bits in the code
All we are is bits in the code

Once we strode
Like giants through the endgame, doing mighty deeds
But glory fades
Your grand achievements now just curiosities
Bits in the code
All we are is bits in the code

Game moves on
Level cap increases, once again we grind
New quests call
And all your epics won’t another level buy
Bits in the code
All we are is bits in the code

This morning (28 December 2012) in the Tadpool, discussing the current WoW expansion and whether it was worth coming back to, Cory Latham made a comment about having too much time invested in his characters to roll new ones, and Christopher Dunn quipped that all that was meaningless, only the current expansion matters. And that got my filker brain working and this came out.

There have been two more World of Warcraft expansions that have come out since I wrote this, and it’s still true, which hasn’t always been true of my WoW filks 🙂

Undead Cat

Undead Cat
Lyrics by Rob Wynne
(TTTO: “Uptown Girl” by Billy Joel)

Undead cat
It’s not living now, and that is that
But somehow it still can move around
No you’re never gonna keep it down

You’d better run from the undead cat
You won’t win if you get in a spat
And if the sight of it should give you pause
You’re gonna die by its undead claws
And drooling maw

And when you see where it is
It’s too lay-ay-ate
And when you wake up
You make up its play-ay-ate

You’ll see you now are dead
Your poor sod
You’ve been fed to the undead cat
And your flesh has made it sleek and fat
And when it’s tired of its catnip toys
It will go hunting for more girls and boys
Because they’re moist

Undead cat
In Spanish, viviendo muerto gat-
O, maybe someday when you’re on your own
Out in the woods, you hear a yowling moan
Won’t make it home

And where it’s stalking
You’ll find you’re its prey-ay-ay
There’s no use talking
Unless it’s to pray-ay-ay

You’ll see you now are dead
Your poor sod
You’d should’ve fled from the undead cat
You won’t win if you get in a spat
And if the sight of it should give you pause
You’re gonna die by its undead claws
And drooling maw

My brain and welcome to it.  (Sincere apologies to Billy Joel, and anyone with the slightest amount of taste)

On Her Majesty’s Sysop Service

On Her Majesty’s SysOp Service
by Rob Wynne
TTTO: “You Only Live Twice” by Leslie Bricusse & John Barry

You always save twice or so they say;
One set for your files on a well supplied RAID.
You always save twice, so we have avowed.
A backup is stored on disk, tape or cloud

And data will stack up, and platforms will fry
Don’t think of the backup, and the data will die

This NAS is for you, so pray the price
Keep your data safe, and always save twice.

And data will stack up, and platforms will fry
Don’t think of the backup, and the data will die

This NAS is for you, so pray the price
Keep your data safe, and always save twice.

Inspired by Bill Sutton’s unfortunate travails with his PC, and by his delightful “Goldfinger” parody detailing them.

Sour Grapes

Sour Grapes
(or, Reflections on George Lucas’s comments about the new Star Wars film)
by Rob Wynne
TTTO: “Send in the Clowns” by Stephen Sondheim

Doesn’t it suck?
Don’t you agree
This film that everyone’s praising
Wasn’t by me
Send in the clones.

Isn’t it sick?
Isn’t it sad?
Everyone loves this new Star Wars
It makes me mad.
Where are the clones?
Send in the clones

Just when I’d stopped
changing the score
Finally selling
the rights for billions more
Walking the carpet again
With my usual strut
Sure of my place
No one asks, but…

What have I wrought?
Jar Jar was panned
I thought that you’d want what I want
Sorry, my fans
But where are the clones?
Quick, send in the clones!
Don’t bother, new plans

Aren’t I rich?
Is that not enough?
Seeing that Abrams succeeded
where I failed is rough
And where are the clones?
There ought to be clones?
Well, maybe next film…

Cluttergathering

I’ve been meaning to start back up with some general blogging, but because I majored in Procrastination (with a doulbe minor in Blowing Things Off and Well Nevermind), I haven’t been.

Towards the notion of getting started again — along with making sure my website Songbook is up to date — I’m going to start posting things here that have previously been posted in other places (primarily Facebook) over the last little while.  So you may see things you saw earlier, or things you never saw but which are long divorced from their original context.  Just a heads up.  Hope it’s not annoying and stuff. 🙂

Pass The Sage

Pass the Sage
by Rob Wynne
TTTO: “Turn the Page” by Bob Seger

In a spacious TV studio, east of Tokyo
You can listen to the sous chefs as they scurry to and fro
And you wonder if tonight you’ll make an ice cream out of roe

And your thoughts will soon be focused on your culinary lore
When the chairman calls the challenger to step out on the floor
And you wonder if this night will be just like the nights before

Oh, here I am, stirring the wok again
There I am, watching the gauge
Here I go….racing the clock again
There I go…pass the sage

You walk into the stadium, and you stand upon the height
And you feel his eyes upon you, as he chooses you to fight
And another kitchen battle’s on; What will we cook tonight?

Sometimes you can’t hear ’em talk, other times you can
All those same old clichés: is that pudding, or a flan?
And you’re almost out of flour, but still you make it stand

Oh, here I am….Stirring the wok again
There I am, watching the gauge
Here I go….racing the clock again
There I go…pass the sage

From the moment that the grill is fired until the plates are served
All your skills and your talents are a legacy preserved
You cook to prove your iron reputation is deserved

Later, when the tastings done, and the compliments are shared
The chairman counts the ballot and the victor is declared
You know another challenge waits, and you will be prepared

Oh, here I am….Stirring the wok again
There I am, watching the gauge
Here I go….racing the clock again
There I go…there I go…

One new song debuted in my Orycon set in 2015. I actually wrote this a while ago, but decided not to post it until after I’d sung it in the wild somewhere, and that was the first time I had the chance.

Many people have written Iron Chef songs. This one is mine.

The Shining Wit

The Shining Wit
by Rob Wynne
TTTO: “Act Naturally” by Johnny Russell and Voni Morrison

I’m gonna get myself a girlfriend
I’m gonna go make all these women see
That I’m a man who knows how to explain things
And all I gotta says is “Well, actually…”

I promise you that I know all about it
I’m quite an expert, you can surely tell
Don’t worry your pretty head about it
‘Cause I can make it simple as well

I know you’ll nod and see that I am right, here.
And jump into my arms and softly squee
You’ll fall for me the moment that I step up
To interrupt you, saying, “Well, actually…”

Yet somehow I wind sad and lonely
It makes me so mad; I just cannot see
I know that I did nothing to deserve this
The only thing I said was “Well, actually…”

I promise you that I know all about it
I’m quite an expert, you can surely tell
Don’t worry your pretty head about it
‘Cause I can make it simple as well

I guess that she was just another hater
But I will get a girl eventually
She will not be able to resist me
When I interrupt her saying “Well, actually…”

Many thanks to Twitter user David Ballard (@dvdbllrd) for the inspiration for this.

I Just Claimed A Gym

I Just Claimed A Gym
by Rob Wynne
TTTO: “I’ve Just Seen A Face” by John Lennon and Paul McCartney

I just claimed a gym
I don’t know if I’ll sink or swim
now that I have. It’s just a place for me
to fight with all the Pokemon I’ve caught

la-la-la-la-la-la

Had it been another day
I might have walked the other way
And maybe caught a Pikichu
But as it is, I’ll fight a duel tonight

li-li-li-li-li-li

Strolling, yes I am strolling
Pokeballs rolling across the way

I have never played a game like this
I’ve been out walking and I’ve missed
things that were out of sight
Until I learned they were a pokestop

ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba

Strolling, yes I am strolling
Pokeballs rolling across the way

I just claimed a gym
I don’t know if I’ll sink or swim
now that I have. It’s just a place for me
to fight with all the Pokemon I’ve caught

la-la-la-la-la-la

Strolling, yes I am strolling
Pokeballs rolling across the way

Strolling, yes I am strolling
Pokeballs rolling across the way

Strolling, yes I am strolling
Pokeballs rolling across the way

Inspired by Mary Bertke playing Pokemon Go.

Inclement Weather Advisory

Inclement Weather Advisory
by Rob Wynne and Jeff Williams
TTTO: “A Kind Of Hush” by Herman’s Hermits

There’s a kind of slush
All over the road, today
All over the road you can hear the sound
Of fast-skidding cars
Watch out for that tree!

Let’s the two of us
Stay inside the house, today
I don’t want to go out and get in the way
of fast-skidding cars

Now listen very carefully
Come closer and see cars sliding into the ditch
Hey, ain’t that a bitch?
The only sound that you will hear
is when the cars begin to skid and career
Roll over and over

There’s a kind of slush
All over the road, today
All over the road you can hear the sound
Of fast-skidding cars

Fa la-la la-la la-la
Fa-la la-la la-la la-la
Fa-la-la-la-la Fa-la la-la-la
Fa la-la la-la

Now listen very carefully
Come closer and see cars sliding into the ditch
Hey, ain’t that a bitch?
The only sound that you will hear
is when the cars begin to skid and career
Roll over and over

There’s a kind of slush
All over the road, today
All over the road you can hear the sound
Of fast-skidding cars
Of fast-skidding cars
Of fast-skidding cars

Tadpoolery Episode 39: Game of Spones

There’s a new episode of Tadpoolery!  In this episode, Rob and Bryan discuss

  • Sports, briefly
  • Tadpool as community / online friendships
  • Nerdtacular is coming!
  • Weird news: carjackers foiled by manual transmission.
  • Steam sale controversy.
  • Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
  • Game of Thrones season finale ( spoilers! )
  • NepoTuneism:  “Winter is Coming” by Sunnie Larson and friends.

As always, you can subscribe to Tadpoolery on iTunes or download/listen at our webpage.

Enjoy, and thanks for listening!

Page 2 of 147

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén